Chapter 22

 

After stopping at the ops center to retrieve a stack of printouts on the areas in question, Devon and Mac drove to the Embassy complex.  Inside the doorway where a marine guard was posted, they were met by a short red haired woman wearing a starched white shirt and dark green skirt.  The woman gave Mac a warm welcoming smile, “Hey stranger,” she said as the two women embraced.

 

Stepping back, the redhead appraised Devon, “Who’s your friend?” Her green eyes traveled from Devon’s face, down the length of her body and returned where their eyes met.

 

Devon heard Mac chuckle, “This is Devon.  Devon, Sheri.”

 

“Pleased to meet you,” Devon murmured, but all she could think about was seeing Alex. They hadn’t spoken much on the ride over; Devon was preoccupied with her thoughts.  She hadn’t thought about much of anything but her work since arriving a few weeks ago, but now that they were in the building housing the CIA field headquarters, she couldn’t seem to think of anything else. 

 

Sheri led them down the hallway to what appeared to be a small conference room.  “Help yourselves to coffee.  I’ll only be a minute.”  She flashed a provocative smile at Mac before disappearing through the door again.

 

Devon poured them each a cup.  She set one in front of Mac and took seat in a leather high back chair beside her at the long conference table.  Mac looked curiously at Devon as she sipped her coffee.

 

“So, how is it that you and someone from the CIA worked on a project together? That’s not exactly SOP.

 

Her grey eyes danced with amusement as she watched the lieutenant shift in her chair and look away.  When Devon looked back at her the usual sharpness was back in her expression.  She knew Devon was evaluating her, deciding how much she could reveal.  What Mac thought, but couldn’t be certain, was that the hesitation was more personal than a professional security concern.

 

Devon took a swallow of her coffee.  She set the cup back on the dark wooden table and looked into the cup for a few seconds.  Mac sat quietly waiting for her answer. 

 

“Just a fluke. They needed some data and I just happened to be there,” she shrugged.

 

The door behind them opened and Mac looked up to see Sheri coming back through the door.  Just behind her, an attractive woman with large deep set brown eyes strode into the room.  She wore a navy suit which was tailored to fit her obviously trim but shapely figure.  Her rich brown hair danced around her shoulders and she brushed back a stray lock that fell across her face. 

 

The woman’s stare fell on Mac, quickly assessing her with sharp precision before moving to the blonde next to her as Devon turned toward the sound of their entry to the room.  When she registered the identity of her companion, Mac saw the granite eyes melt to a warm dark chocolate color.  The woman froze just inside the door and the sound of a sharp gasp escaped her throat.

 

As Devon turned in the direction of the woman, Mac saw an electric smile light Devon’s face. The two women embraced fully.  Not the shoulder to shoulder, kiss in the air squeeze that women so often give to friends.  No, this was a full body embrace that spoke of intimacy. 

 

Oh, this is no fluke, Mac laughed to herself.  She could feel the heat between the two women shimmering in the air.

 

Alex spoke first, “What are you doing here?”

 

“Same as you, chasing bad guys,” Devon grinned.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

 

As soon as she asked, she felt ashamed, realizing that she had never contacted Devon after the week they spent together in D.C. True, it had only been a little over a month ago, but Devon would have no way to get in touch unless she had called or written, which she hadn’t.  She told herself that she had just been busy with her new assignment, which was partly true, but she also had been afraid that Devon might be uncomfortable now that she knew how Alex felt.

 

And just how did she feel?  Alex thought that their time together would be enough to satisfy the longing that she had felt for Devon since college.  The opposite was true.  Making love to Devon had stoked the flames of embers long simmering in her soul.  It had been more incredible than she had ever dreamed.  Now Devon was here and Alex was terrified that Devon would tell her it had all been a mistake.

 

As if reading Alex’s thoughts, Devon said quietly, “Did you think coming to Beirut was far enough? You can’t get away that easily.”

 

Devon held her stare long enough to allow Alex to read the feeling inside, because even if she could talk to her right now, she wasn’t sure that she could find the right words.  She was humming inside with a flood of feeling.  Friendship, gratitude, excitement.  Longing.  Suddenly she felt searing heat where Alex’s hands were holding her arms.  Drawing a deep breath, she quickly stepped away, turning back toward Mac.

 

“Captain Erin McKinley, I would like you to meet Special Agent Alexandra Sommers.”

 

The captain stood and extended her hand, “Mac.”

 

“Alex,” she returned the firm grip.

 

“Well, I guess we can let you two catch up a bit,” Mac looked at Sheri, “Want to take a walk?”  She whispered into her ear, “We should give them a little privacy, I think,” Sheri nodded and smiled knowingly.  As they left the room, Mac smiled back at Devon, giving her a wink as she closed the door. 

 

Once they were alone again, Alex hugged Devon tightly.  “You have no idea how good you feel,” she said breathlessly

 

Devon leaned in to rest her cheek against the side of Alex’s neck, breathing in her scent as fresh as spring rain.  Mmm, I just might,” she sighed softly against the delicate skin, sending a shiver down Alex’s spine. Feeling her own body respond, Devon straightened and backed slightly away, breaking the contact.  They both took a deep breath to reign in their reeling senses.

 

Devon pulled out a chair and indicated with her hand for Alex to sit, taking the seat next to her.

 

“Hopefully, we’ll have time to catch up that way soon, but right now we’re working, so I guess we should talk about that before we get into trouble.”  The familiar beautiful smile lighting her face made Alex’s heart ache with desire.

 

“You’re right, of course,” She barely managed to keep her voice from shaking.

 

Devon removed the stack of documents from her briefcase and placed them on the table in front of them.  “I have noticed two specific areas of concentrated activity in these two areas,” she pointed to the areas circled on the maps.  “My linguist tells me that the indications are that Hamas members are at these locations.  The additional signals intelligence corroborates this.” 

 

Devon watched Alex carefully as she spoke for any reaction.  With the exception of her eyes hardening a bit, she did not seem surprised by the information.  She cocked her head sideways to draw Alex’s eyes to hers.

 

Alex looked at Devon expressionlessly.  The CIA had been working around the clock to identify and uncover the locations of the terrorist group responsible for the attack on the embassy in April, wiping out their entire team.  It was personal, and although she trusted Devon, the Agency wanted to exact the retribution on this group themselves.  They were close to having all the information they needed.  She briefly wondered how much Devon had been able to uncover already.  She is so good at this. She should work for the Agency, not the Army.

 

“Well, I see you have your spy face on,” Devon suddenly felt like an unwanted guest. “What are you now, just like the rest of the bureaucrats?”

 

Devon’s accusation stung and Alex recognized a mixture of sadness and anger swirling in her eyes.  It hurt Alex to see Devon look at her that way.  She covered Devon’s hand with her own.

 

“I’m sorry, you’re not the enemy.  It’s just different here, Dev.  The intensity is incredible because we all feel so much pressure to bring someone to justice for hitting us right here where we live.”

 

Devon considered that.  She couldn’t imagine how they must feel, so she pushed her anger aside and squeezed Alex’s hand, “No, I’m sorry; I should have realized how personal this is to your team.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“Listen, I just want to help, you know that.  My commander has given me the green light to be creative,” she grinned. “I don’t want you to compromise yourself, Alex, but I still think we can find a way to help each other.”

 

Alex looked doubtful. Devon continued, “C’mon, you know we can find a missing piece of information if we compare notes.”  She was grinning again and Alex’s defenses fell.

 

Raising her hands in surrender, she laughed, “Okay, okay.  We can give it a try, but don’t get mad at me if I can’t tell you some things…”

 

“Not a problem,” Devon shook her head, “I appreciate your position.”

 

“Good,” Alex linked her fingers with Devon’s, “so how about having dinner with me tonight?”

 

“Dinner…hmmm,” Devon rubbed her thumb across the knuckles on Alex’s hand, her eyes narrowed as she spoke, “Should I save room for desert?”

 

“Well, I wouldn’t want anyone to think you were collaborating with the enemy,” Alex’s voice was low and suggestive.

 

“Is that what you are?” Devon brushed her leg slowly along Alex’s beneath the table, watching her brown eyes darken to black.

 

Her voice was almost a whisper, “That’s the thing about spies, it’s hard to tell who’s side they’re on.”

 

“Oh, but I have special interrogation techniques.”

 

“Really?” Alex leaned forward slightly, her eyes locked with Devon’s.

 

The door flew open and Mac walked briskly in.  “You two all caught up?” Her eyes playfully bouncing between the two women seated at the table.  She didn’t miss the way both women were leaning toward each other and then jumped as they heard her enter.

 

Devon ran a hand through her hair, blushing, “Not quite.”

 

“We better get back to our side of the world,” Mac said lightly, “You ready?”

 

“Sure.” Devon stood to leave and Alex caught her arm.

 

“I’ll be finished in an hour or so.  Call me.” She placed a card into Devon’s hand with a hand written number on the back.

 

“See you soon.” Devon smiled softly then walked passed Mac out the door.

 

“Nice to meet you, Alex,” Mac called as she hurried to follow Devon down the hall.

 

After walking to the jeep in silence, Mac started the engine and swung a wide circular turnaround to exit the parking lot.  “Alex seems very nice,” she ventured.

 

Devon could read nothing probing or negative in her tone, only friendly conversation.  Still, she felt the need to keep the now familiar barriers in place when discussing her personal life.

 

“Yes,” was all Devon could say.  Looking back at Mac, she sensed a common bond and saw compassion in her eyes, but she was afraid of revealing herself after all that she had lost.  She would not endanger Alex. 

 

Mac saw the uncertainty, mistrust and fear warring in Devon’s eyes. 

 

“I might know a thing or two about how you’re feeling. It’s okay, though, I understand.  You don’t know me well enough to trust me.”

 

Devon said nothing.  She wanted to talk to Mac.  Inside she felt on some level that she could trust her, but the pain of losing not just Jillian but most of her friends was just too fresh.  Instead, she stared out at the planes in the distance as they crossed the far side of the airport, wondering just when she lost her ability to trust. 


 

Chapter 23

 

Devon tucked her beret into the side pocket of her camouflage pants and softly knocked at the door at the end of the second floor hall of the CIA personnel housing.  It was just after eight o’clock.  She had successfully put away the troubling thoughts of earlier after a brief conversation with Mac at the hanger.  Mac assured her that she did not take offense to keeping her personal life private, and Devon knew she genuinely meant it.  Now, standing here at Alex’s door filled her heart with happiness in a way that she couldn’t fully understand herself. 

           

The door opened and Alex stood smiling at her wearing jeans and a half length white t-shirt that showed off her ample breasts and the flat planes of her stomach.  She watched Devon’s eyes fall to her chest and slowly slide down her torso like a caress and felt heat flood into her thighs.  Quickly, she pulled Devon into the room, closing the door behind her and immediately pinning her against the door with a thigh between her legs and a hungry mouth capturing Devon’s. 

 

The surprise of Alex’s leg pressing hard against her crotch, driving the thick seam of her uniform pants against her clitoris made Devon’s hips buck forward involuntarily.  She gasped at the sudden pleasure and returned her kiss with equal intensity, the force bruising each other’s mouth.  Devon pushed her hands up under Alex’s t-shirt, claiming the already hardening nipples between her thumb and forefingers.  She pinched and teased the tips rhythmically as Alex rocked against her until she felt her legs might give out.

 

When they reached the end of the bed, Alex grasped the front of Devon’s loose outer uniform shirt and pulled her down on top of her.  Devon jerked the outer shirt off revealing the tighter fitting brown t-shirt beneath that did little to hide her muscular form and her high full breasts. She shuddered as Alex pulled the t-shirt free of her waistband and slid her palms across her abdomen then slowly worked the shirt up towards her shoulders.  Devon raised her arms grasping the back of the shirt and pulling it free over her head while Alex quickly tugged the sport bra up, freeing her breasts and seizing a ripe pink nipple with her mouth.

 

Devon slid her hand to the back of Alex’s neck and into the silky brown hair, bringing her mouth more forcefully against her breast as she felt Alex rocking against her right thigh.  Gasping, Alex looked up into Devon’s face and saw the need that mirrored her own.

 

“Clothes,” She breathed as she pulled her t-shirt and jeans off. 

 

Alex moved behind Devon to slowly caress her back and kiss her neck just below the golden strands of curls.  She laughed throatily when she heard Devon growl in frustration as she fumbled with the laces on her desert boots.

 

“Have a heart, Alex,” she muttered, “My coordination is a bit affected by your mouth on me.”  Alex laughed softly in her ear.

 

Devon kicked off the boots and began unfastening the tan belt around her waist.  Alex stopped her hands and turned her around to face the bed, where she was seated now nude.  She flipped open the brass buckle and slid the belt from where it circled Devon’s thin waist,  while she placed feather light kisses on the muscles rippling  just above the top edge of the pants.  Slowly, she worked each button of the fly free.  Devon stepped out of the remainder of the clothing as it gathered at her ankles.

 

“I always knew you were beautiful,” Alex whispered reverently, “But I never imagined…”

 

Devon pulled Alex to her, wrapping her in a tight embrace.  She kissed her deeply, allowing all of the intimacy of their shared history to flow between them.

 

As the kisses became more urgent, Devon pulled Alex down to the bed, guiding her hips until she was straddling Devon, her center pressing on Devon’s torso.  Alex began a slow roll of her hips on Devon’s stomach, opening herself fully to feel the enticing friction against her wet swollen tissues.  She arched her back and moaned as Devon worked her breasts with her mouth and hands sucking, kneading and every so often nipping the tip of the nipple with a soft bite.  Her breathing became faster and her hips thrust erratically against Devon.

 

Devon slid her hand between Alex’s thighs seeking the source of her desire.  She circled the slick wet folds with her fingertips until she felt Alex tremble with the first signs of her building orgasm.  She moved lower, lifting Alex’s hips toward her mouth and sucked the tip of her clit into her mouth.  Devon ran the tip of her tongue through the hot wetness, savoring the taste and pulsing sensations against her lips.  When she felt the first surge of muscle contractions, she pulled Alex more tightly against her mouth and drove her tongue harder against the hypersensitive tip.  She did not stop until Alex begged her for mercy, still trembling in her arms.

 

Pulling herself up to lay along the length of Alex’s body, they wrapped their arms around each other relishing the peace and comfort between them, and Devon dozed. 

 

She awakened a short while later, feeling a tension in Alex’s body. Devon reached over to take Alex’s chin in her hand tracing her thumb along her jaw and stroking her cheek lightly.  She felt tears on Alex’s cheeks and pulled away, startled. 

 

“Al?” Devon tilted her head to look directly into her eyes, searching the dark liquid pools.  “What is it?”

 

“It’s nothing,” Alex whispered. When Devon raised her eyebrow and tilted her head in a questioning look, Alex forced a smile through the tears, “Really, I’m just so happy.”  I love you.  I’ve always loved you. 

 

Devon pulled Alex’s head back down to her chest and rested her chin on the top of Alex’s head.  She ran her fingers slowly through her soft brown hair, thinking about everything between them and aching at the thought of hurting Alex.  It would be very easy to accept what they had told each other in DC; that they were both adults and able to handle the addition of a physical relationship between them with no strings, but Devon knew that wasn’t true.  It did change things.

 

The love she felt for Alex was born of shared experience, intellect, and friendship.  The deep bond between them had carried them through the struggles and disappointments of those awkward years transitioning between teenagers and adults.  She did love Alex.  True, it wasn’t the instant visceral reaction and constant ache that she felt with Jillian, but look how wrong she was about that love. 

 

There was no rush; they had time to figure out where their relationship was going. For the moment, they could keep things as they were.  They both understood that their situation had to be handled carefully.  She closed her eyes and breathed in the sweet scent of shampoo in Alex’s hair, knowing she didn’t fully understand her own feelings.  She only knew that right now she was powerless to let her go. 

 


 

Chapter 24

October 15, 1984

 

 

“This has to be the group responsible,” Devon sat in the ops center reviewing the weekly intercepts and transcripts from her team.  Mac was leaning on the edge of the table next to her examining the pin map which clearly showed the concentration of activity in the two areas that she and Devon had been surveying for the past few weeks. 

 

“I agree, and the command center is definitely in this area of the high ground,” she pointed to the mountainous area on the map.  “So what do you say we get with the major and put together an ops plan for a strike?”

 

“Everything seems to fit,” Devon agreed, “Especially since we intercepted this last transmission just before Ramadan.”  She lifted a transcript that Jeff had translated three weeks ago, just before the beginning of the Muslim Holy month.  The speaker had praised the brave martyrs of the spring and promised to continue their jihad against the infidels. 

 

“He has to be referring to the Embassy bombing.  And the promise to continue means that we can’t afford to wait much longer.  We are in the middle of Ramadan now, which is probably why things have been relatively quiet.”

 

“You think something is going to happen soon?” Mac asked warily.

 

“Well, Eid-Ul-Fitr—that’s the celebration at the end of Ramadan’s month long fasting—is coming up soon.  So some kind of action to show their continued commitment to the Jihad would make sense then.”

 

She checked the calendar, noting the date for the Muslim holiday would be October 23 and frowned, “That’s next week.”

 

Devon walked to the secure phone on the wall and punched the number to Alex’s office, hoping to get an idea of where their investigation was heading.  She didn’t want to inadvertently have two missions being planned for the same time that would ultimately ruin both.  Mac watched Devon from across the room.  After a few minutes, she heard the lieutenant curse softly and drop the receiver back on the cradle.  She leaned against the counter, her back to the room for a bit longer before shaking her head and straightening.  She returned to where Mac sat.

 

“Let’s take a walk.” 

 

Mac followed her out the door and across the parking lot.  Whatever Alex said had angered Devon.  She would never reveal that in front of the team, however.  Just like she would never reveal who it was she was speaking with to the rest of the team.  It was tricky business navigating the mistrust and animosity that existed between the military and the CIA.  Devon and Alex were walking a tightrope, regardless of the rightness of what they were trying to do.  To the bureaucrats, it always came down to turf and who got the credit for success or the blame for failure.

 

In the past month, Devon had begun to reveal some of the details of her professional relationship with Alexandra Sommers.  Mac was glad that the team would benefit from the additional information that Devon was able to get through their careful collaboration.  She was also pleased that she and Devon had begun to develop a friendship and a growing trust was evident between them.  Still, although she guessed there was far more than a professional relationship between Devon and Alex, she would never ask.  If Devon wanted her to know, she would tell her.

  

They walked for a few minutes in silence.  The daily sound of automatic weapons fire coming from the hills in the distance made both women visually scan the horizon as they walked.  Devon shoved her hands deep into her pants pockets thinking about the conversation with Alex.  She respected Alex’s position, but she also had a responsibility to her own team.  Both women had jobs to do; right now, however that was putting them at odds and the feeling unsettled Devon.  She pushed away her anger, instead focusing on her mission.

 

Mac walked silently along side, knowing that Devon would explain as soon as she sorted through her thoughts.  When they reached the edge of the tarmac in front of the helicopter bay, Devon stopped and regarded Mac seriously, weighing just what she wanted to reveal.  Alex broke from protocol to even tell her that they were planning a strike on the terrorist compound in the next few days, and Devon knew that she had only told her because Devon wanted to send in a Delta Force Team.

 

The tense conversation played through her mind again. 

 

“Alex, I know that you have training, but did it include close combat, extractions under fire, rappelling from helicopters?  How do you think you’re team is going to get in there?”

 

“Devon,” Alex’s tone was frigid, “Do not presume to know my teams or my capabilities.”

 

“Okay, then tell me.  Are you trained to drop out of a helicopter into a hot zone?” 

“I’m not having this conversation with you,” Alex had said, her voice icy. “I have to go.”  Before Devon could protest, the connection was severed.

 

Replaying the conversation now made Devon’s blood boil again.  She drew a deep breath and ran a hand through her thick blond hair leaning on the edge of a helicopter skid, as Mac waited patiently. 

 

“You look pretty strung out,” Mac said quietly.

 

Devon shook her head and heaved a long sigh. “Just a bit frustrated.” She stared off across the compound in the direction of the Embassy Building and CIA Headquarters.

 

“Anything you can share?” Mac followed her gaze, knowing that there were professional and personal dilemmas warring inside her friend.  Mac was careful not to push too hard for information that she knew the lieutenant couldn’t or wouldn’t divulge.  She watched Devon come to a decision.

 

“Alex’s team has come to the same conclusion as we have regarding the fighters up in the hills.”

           

“But that’s not a good thing?”

           

“No, they of course want to run their own show—without us.” Devon’s gaze now turned toward the hills. “I know that they have capable personnel, but it just seems to me that hitting those bastards with a Delta Force team is the best response. Those guys train for that kind of thing every day.  But Alex wasn’t having any of that.” 

 

The last statement was nearly a growl and she grabbed onto the metal of the skid so hard that her knuckles were white.  Staring down at the ground, she finished almost inaudibly, “That woman can be so frustrating.”

           

“Most of them are,” Mac grinned and clapped her on the back.  Devon blushed slightly realizing she had spoken her last thought aloud.  When she saw the playful acknowledgement in the other woman’s eyes, she laughed as well. 

           

“So, frustrating females aside, what do you want to do?”

           

“How mad do you think she’ll get if we get the boys ready to hit the place ahead of them?” She knew the answer, plenty mad, but if doing this was going to keep Alex from going on a suicide mission, then so be it. 

           

Mac whistled softly, “Well, I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes when she finds out you outflanked her.”  She winced at Devon.  “But I agree, it should be a full scale military assault.  Anything else is too risky.”

           

“Well, let’s go see the major and get this operation set in motion.”

 

#

 

           

After briefing the major, Devon and Mac sat at a table in the far corner of the mess tent each with a cup of coffee in front of them.  They had already discussed the upcoming operation and Mac had answered some extra questions that Devon had because this was her first insertion mission with the Delta Force team.  Mac could still feel uneasiness in Devon.

 

“Care to share what’s still eatin’ at you?”

 

“I’m just a little bit intimidated by the fact that this mission’s success depends upon my teams Intel.  My first real test as the team leader.” 

 

“Hey, don’t worry, kid,” Mac assured her, “I’ve seen your work, the Intel is solid.  That camp is the right place; they are responsible for the car bombing.  We drop the team in, they execute the plan, and we lift ‘em out.  Piece of cake.”   Her eyes twinkled.

 

“I know we’re right, just a bit of jitters, I guess.”

           

“I’d be more worried if you didn’t have any,” Mac said seriously, “Give yourself a break, this is your first time in a live combat deployment with probable enemy resistance.  That’s reason to be a bit jittery.”

           

“Yeah,” Devon said absently, staring at her cup.

           

Mac watched her friend for a few minutes knowing that her thoughts were not only of the upcoming mission.  She knew worries about Alex’s reaction were weighing heavily on Devon’s mind.  She also knew that the lieutenant needed to put any distracting thoughts out of her mind, at least the day of the deployment.  Distractions would get someone killed. 

 

“Let’s go.” Mac stood and led Devon out of the tent. 

 

“Where are we going?” 

 

“You look like you could use a drink, and I definitely need one,” The captain smiled. 

           

Inside her room, Mac pulled two shot glasses and a bottle of Maker’s Mark whiskey out of a small wooden cabinet in the corner of the room next to the small desk.  She poured two shots and extracted two Maccabee beers from the small refrigerator.  Handing a beer to Devon, she grinned, “You’re from Pittsburgh, so a shot and a beer, right?” 

           

“Yep,” Devon laughed, and then studied the beer bottle a moment. “Israeli beer, huh?” 

 

“Wait ‘till you try it.” 

 

They raised their shot glasses to each other and downed the smooth whiskey, followed by long drinks from their beer. 

 

Resting the bottle on her knee, Devon said appreciatively, “Wow, that’s good.” 

           

The two women sat a few minutes in easy silence, sipping their beer.  Finally, Mac spoke, “So, have you talked to Alex?”

           

Devon took a long pull from her beer, nearly finishing the bottle before her eyes met Mac’s.  “No, I’m afraid she’ll ask me about our plans and I can’t lie to her.”

 

Mac nodded, “It’s hard when it’s so personal, I know.” 

 

She watched pain flicker in the blue eyes, but Devon said nothing.  So stoic, she thought. What happened to make you so wary of everyone?  Mac remembered her first lover when she was in flight school, and how everything had changed so drastically at the first hint of investigations of suspected gays at the school.  She suspected something similar had happened to Devon or someone she knew.  Mac also knew that the stress of their combat role was more than enough to handle; she didn’t need to carry around the added worry about her personal life alone. 

           

“You can tell me I’m out of line,” she began, her eyes never leaving Devon’s, “But it’s obvious that you two care a great deal about each other.  She may be mad about this, but if you give her time, I’m sure she will see that you made your decision partly out of your love for her.” 

           

Devon looked evenly back at Mac wondering for the hundredth time whether she should talk to her about anything personal.  It was a lonely feeling to never be certain who to trust and to always keep your feelings hidden from view.  She was suddenly grateful beyond measure to have someone to be able to talk to.  She hadn’t even written to Leigh about anything out of fear that her mail might be censored.  

           

“Yes, she is very special to me,” she said finally.

           

Mac smiled broadly, “Well, I knew that the second she walked into the conference room that first day.  Talk about sparks flying, I was afraid the entire room was gonna go up in flames.”

 

Devon blushed and looked down again at her now empty beer bottle.  Mac rose and retrieved two more from the refrigerator, handing one to her young friend. 

 

“I’m no shrink, but I sense that something is bothering you—besides the operation.” She shrugged, “But, like I said, you can tell me I’m out of line.”

 

Exhaling sharply, Devon ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head. She closed her eyes and tried to sort through her rampant thoughts of trust, betrayal, friendship, love, integrity, honor…truth.  Looking into Mac’s eyes, she saw nothing resembling anything but sincerity and compassion.  She decided to trust her instincts.

           

“Alex and I have known each other a long time.  We were friends in college; actually she was my closest friend.  When I got to NSA, I looked her up and we started working on the Intel project together.  Then…we became lovers.  Now, we’re both here, and I’m afraid that my feelings are affecting my decision making.”  Her voice dropped to nearly a whisper, “The thought of her dropping into that terrorist camp made me nearly lose my mind.”

           

Mac moved her chair directly in front of where Devon sat, leaning forward to look directly into her eyes.  Softly, she said, “I’m sure she feels the same about you being on point for the rangers and in the line of fire.”

           

“That’s not the same.” Devon protested.

           

“Doesn’t matter.  Risk is still involved.  It’s very difficult to love someone who does the kinds of things we all do, Devon.  It’s scary.”  Mac paused, and her eyes drifted, recalling some pain from the past.  “Our situation makes it that much more difficult because we have to pretend that we don’t even care.” As she finished a tear slid down Mac’s right cheek. 

           

“Gosh, I’m sorry,” Devon put her hand lightly on Mac’s knee, suddenly concerned for her friend.  “I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories for you.  You okay?”

 

Mac shook her head and smiled sadly, “You didn’t do anything, Dev.” 

           

Devon looked doubtfully at her as Mac went on.  “Just promise me that you will talk to Alex before the operation.  Don’t leave any of your feelings left unsaid, okay?  We move in just a couple of days. I don’t want either of you to have any regrets.”

 

#

           

An hour later, Devon walked restlessly across the compound.  She knew she should be tired at 2330, but she wasn’t.  She couldn’t stop thinking about Alex and where their relationship was going.  Did she even dare think of a future with Alex after the disastrous relationship with Jillian?  Now, there was even more at stake than just hiding their relationship. This place was truly dangerous.  A loud explosion sounded in the distance as if to make her point. 

 

Still, Devon couldn’t deny that she longed for Alex’s touch.  Alex touched her in so many ways. She loved the way she could debate politics and world events with her.  She craved the stimulation, mentally and now physically that was uniquely Alex.  It seemed as though Alex was the one right thing in this crazy world.  So, what was missing?  Had the experience with Jillian scarred her so much that she could never feel that deeply about someone again? 

 

Soon, she found herself climbing into a jeep and exiting the fenced section of the military portion of the airport compound. She stared toward the city and the separate cluster of buildings housing the CIA personnel, her passion and reason struggling within her.  Unable to stop herself, she continued the short trip to the CIA building and entered the housing unit. 

           

Devon nodded to the guard at the front entrance and made her way to the stairwell and the second floor, following the hallway to the last room at the east end.  Remembering the last time she entered Alex’s room, she shuddered slightly.  Drawing a deep breath, not knowing what the response this time would be to her presence, she knocked and waited. 

           

A moment later, Alex opened the door just a crack, peering out.  The room behind her was dark.  “Dev? Is that you?”

           

“Yeah.” Devon stood perfectly still waiting for her response. 

           

The door opened wider and Alex reached out to grasp Devon by the hand, pulling her inside the darkened room.  Alex guided Devon toward the bed and reached over to turn on the bedside lamp.  She sat cross-legged next to Devon, her knees touching Devon’s thigh. 

           

“I’m sorry to show up so late,” Devon said.  Alex studied the face she knew so well, seeing a kaleidoscope of emotions swimming in the blue eyes.

           

“Something wrong?”

 

“No, well…I just wanted to see you.”

 

Devon was uncertain what to say.  She needed Alex to understand what she was feeling, but she knew that her feelings about what should be done would be the opposite of Alex’s as far as taking out the terrorists were concerned.  What she was much less certain of was trying to explain to Alex how she felt personally, hell she didn’t even understand herself.

 

“Al—” she was interrupted by Alex’s hand reaching into her uniform shirt, pulling on the t-shirt beneath to slide warm fingers along her abdomen.  Devon gasped softly at the sensation of her lovers knowing touch immediately sending her blood racing through her veins. Alex leaned in to place soft kisses along her neck, destroying her ability to form coherent sentences.  She shifted slightly away, trying to regain her thoughts. 

 

“Alex, listen…please.”  Her hand stopped the advance of Alex’s fingers toward her breasts.

 

Alex shifted so that she could look directly into Devon’s eyes.  “I know you are going to do what you think the Army should do.  I’m going to do what the CIA does.  We cannot change that, so there’s no point in wasting our energy on things we can’t control.” 

 

Her hand resumed its exploration of Devon’s torso, sliding up to capture a nipple between her fingers.  She squeezed tightly, to accentuate her next statement, “I am only interested in what I can control,” Sliding her tongue up until it found a soft earlobe, she pulled it into her mouth.

 

Alex’s hot breath was directly in Devon’s ear, “You and I together.  That’s all that matters to me.”

           

Suddenly, the only reality was Alex’s body pressed into her.  Alex’s lips firing her blood with every point of contact on her skin.  Vaguely, Devon’s brain registered the sound of automatic weapons fire and mortars exploding in the distance as she pulled Alex down on top of her on the bed.  The reality of their lives and responsibilities would be there in the morning.  Tonight there was only the two of them, lost in the passion of one another.  The rest of the world would have to wait. 

 

Part 11

What's Ya Poison?