The Great Sleigh Heist

-Or-

How Xena and Friends Saved Christmas

By: Sadie Jo

Email: cliosdesk@comcast.net

Teaser: After being ‘on ice’ for centuries, Xena awakens in the 21^st century, at the North Pole. She decides to stay with Santa and Mrs. Claus until she catches up with the rest of the world. When Santa’s sleigh is stolen the day before Christmas Eve, Santa asks Xena for her help in getting it back. Xena and friends embark on an adventure to retrieve the sleigh in time for Santa before Christmas Eve…

Disclaimer: Any and all characters from Xena: Warrior Princess were borrowed. All other characters belong to us. We ripped off everyone with the greatest respect and love.

Prologue:

425 BC:

The arctic wind whipped around the combatants, cutting through their heavy garments like icy knives. A bolt of lightning flashed in the distance, illuminating the dark sky. A few seconds later, there was a loud crash as the thunderbolt sounded. Gabrielle rolled out of the way as a large club shattered the ice in the spot she had just occupied a few seconds earlier. Her feet slipped out from under her as she tried to set her fighting stance. She was able to turn her graceless fall into another forward roll. This time she didn’t slip as swung her staff at the large frost giant facing her.

She came up the creature’s waist. Its skin was a pale blue color and it wore a fur shirt, fur pants, and a fur cloak. It had a bald head, but sported a white goatee. Its biceps were as thick as tree trunks, as were its legs. Taking a blow from one of these things would probably be fatal. The butt of her staff caught the monster under the chin. Stunned, the giant backed away, giving Gabrielle a few seconds to catch her breath and check on her companion. She glanced towards her left side…

There Xena stood, holding her own against the second frost giant, near the top of the glacier the four were battling on. She maneuvered on the ice as if it were nothing. The fierce wind whipped the warrior princess’ long, black hair about. Xena dodged to the left and the right, looking for an opening in her opponent’s defense.

I don’t know how she’s able to stand on the ice and move like that.’ Gabrielle thought to herself. ‘Of course I do. It’s one of her many skills.’

Xena parried a crushing blow from the frost giant she was battling, leaving its mid-section wide open. With one smooth motion, Xena thrust her sword into the creature’s stomach, and just as smoothly pulled the blade out again.

More angered than injured, the mighty creature bellowed into the stormy night, its ear-shattering howl sent chills down Gabrielle’s spine. The monster swung its massive club over its head and brought it down towards Xena. The warrior princess managed to back-flip out of harm’s way. The ice shook as the creature’s club slammed into the ground. At first, nothing happened. Then the ice began to shake violently. A large crevice formed at Xena’s feet. She backed away again. She glanced over and saw Gabrielle watching.

“Look out!” Xena yelled.

Gabrielle turned her attention back to her own opponent to see the frost giant charging straight at her.

“Oops.” Gabrielle mumbled to herself.

Without a second thought, Xena reached town to her hip and pulled her chakram from her belt. Then the warrior princess hurled the deadly disk at Gabrielle’s foe. The chakram flew through the air and sheared through the giant’s neck, causing the head to fall on the ground and roll away. The chakram then ricocheted off a rock face and returned to the warrior princess’ hand. Gabrielle was amazed to see the blood bounce on the icy surface. She turned to thank her friend and her eyes widened in horror.

The large beast battling against Xena took advantage of her momentary distraction. It grabbed a hold of the warrior princess and hoisted her above its head. Xena struggled against the frost giant’s vice like grip. She managed to kick the creature in the jaw twice, but it was to no avail. With a laugh that was truly hideous, the monster threw Xena down the large crevice that had formed from its massive club strike.

“XENA!!” Gabrielle screamed in horror as she watched her fall. Tears began flooding her eyes.

The icy wind seemed to almost freeze her tears as they fell from her face. Then a rage the likes of which Gabrielle had never felt in her life possessed her. She welcomed the fury as she rushed the ice creature. She watched as the monster laughed again as it slammed its club down upon the icy ground, causing chunks of ice to fall into the crevice. This only fueled Gabrielle’s anger as she viciously swung her staff at the head of ice monster, causing it to stumble backwards. She swung again, hitting the monster in the mid-section, forcing it back further up the large glacier. She attacked a third time, thrusting her staff where Xena’s sword pierced it minutes earlier. Her fourth blow caused her woolen hat to fall off, exposing her short strawberry blonde hair to the artic wind. Steadily Gabrielle forced the monster backwards, towards the edge of a large cliff. The frost giant tried to fight back, but Gabrielle continued her violent assault. She swung her staff in an upward arc, catching the creature underneath the chin, causing it to loose its balance and fall from the glacier.

Gabrielle watched as the creature fell into nothingness. She then turned and rushed towards the spot were the monster had hurled her best friend’s body. As she arrived at the spot, her heart sank further than she had thought possible. The large crevice was filled with ice, which had already frozen over. The tears again began to stream down her face as she fell to her knees. This time, she allowed them…

One year later…

Gabrielle stood at the spot where her friend was cast down into an icy grave. She had been making the pilgrimage to this spot monthly for the past year. Deep down inside she blamed herself. If she had only fought better, Xena wouldn’t have had to save her life yet again. She unwrapped the single red rose she had carried with her and gently laid it upon the ice. She felt so empty inside. It seemed her life was without meaning.

“You really need to stop beating yourself up over this, kiddo.” A voice said from behind her.

Gabrielle turned around to see Aphrodite, Goddess of Love, standing there. Her long golden blonde hair was still in the artic wind. She wore her usual negligee type outfit only instead of it being pink, it was black.

“Excuse me?” Gabrielle asked.

“You’re blaming yourself for what happened, correct, girlfriend?”

“What would you know?” Gabrielle retorted without thinking. “Oh…sorry”

“I’ll let that one slide, kiddo.” The goddess smiled sadly.

“I’m sorry, Aphrodite, really. Have you found out if any of your family has survived?” Gabrielle questioned.

“Only Ares.” Aphrodite answered. “It almost seems as if one god representing evil and one representing good survived the Fall of the Gods. My powers have slowly begun to fade as well. Living forever without my powers will really suck.”

Gabrielle nodded. “What brings you here anyway?”

“You do, Sweetpea.” The goddess answered. “You see Gabrielle, I’ve watched you come here every month. Do you think Xena would want that? What would she have done?”

Gabrielle hadn’t thought of that. “She…she would have continued to fight for the greater good.”

“Exactly.” Aphrodite said. “Shouldn’t you be doing the same thing; if nothing else than in memory of your fallen friend?”

“Y-your right.” Gabrielle nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Sweetpea. But that’s not the only reason I’m here. If you do want to do this, then let me give you one last gift. The gift of immortality.”

“What?!” Gabrielle exclaimed. “NO! That would mean I could never join Xena in the Elysian Fields. I’d be alone forever. I can’t do that.”

“Gab, listen to me. This was never supposed to happen. You were never supposed to be separated.”

“Aphrodite, what are you talking about?”

“You weren’t supposed to find out yet, but under the circumstanced…”

“Would you just tell me what’s going on?!”

“Ok…ok. Chill babe. Oh.” Aphrodite chuckled. “Chill…glacier…artic wind.”

“APHRODITE!?! What the Hades is going on?!” Gabrielle exasperatedly said.

“The two of were never supposed to be separated. You were to continue to do what you do. The ‘greater good thing’. But someone messed things up.” The Goddess of Love explained.

“Ares.” Gabrielle growled.

“Yeah, and in order for you to be reunited, you need to be immortal. Xena’s not dead. There is no way to get to her now, but in the future…” Aphrodite explained.

“I see.” Gabrielle said thoughtfully. “But you said you were weaker. Will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I have enough Ambrosia to last me a very long time. Besides, you would only need a little taste.”

Gabrielle hesitated.

“Please, Gabrielle. You would honor me if you would accept.”

The young bard thought about it for a minute longer. “Okay. As long as you promise you’ll have enough for yourself.”

“Cross my heart.” Aphrodite smiled.

The Goddess approached Gabrielle. A small box appeared in her hand. Aphrodite opened the box, and took a small piece of Ambrosia from it. She then handed the Food of the Gods to Gabrielle, who then placed it into her mouth and swallowed it.

“Now I’m going to teleport you away from here. What you do afterwards is your business. I’ll try to keep in touch.” Aphrodite smiled.

The young woman nodded. Aphrodite touched Gabrielle’s shoulder. The young bard vanished in a puff of pink smoke, sparkles and rose petals.

Aphrodite nodded in satisfaction, then shivered in the artic air. She solemnly approached the placed where Gabrielle placed the rose. What she didn’t tell Gabrielle was that there was a prophecy that when the soul mates were reunited, then the goddess would regain her powers to combat her evil brother. As she bent down and smelled the red rose, Aphrodite found herself wondering if she would ever find her own soul mate…

1899 AD

Aphrodite walked the streets of Philadelphia, in the new land know as the United States of America. The war for its independence was bloody. She knew that her brother Ares was behind the most of the war, gaining more power. If he ever were successful in hatching a scheme for world domination, he would be unstoppable. Just when it seemed it couldn’t get any worse, it did. His right hand wench was none other than Callisto. Ares had found her and made her immortal.

Aphrodite’s own powers were slowly deteriorating. To conserve her remaining strength, she walked among the mortals. It seemed like the only day she felt like her old self was on this very day. It was according to the mortal calendar, December 24th, Christmas Eve. She watched as people walked the streets, smiling to one another, and saying, “Merry Christmas.” She had done her research on this Christmas holiday. From what she could understand the One God the mortals worshiped sent His Son on this very night, so that Mankind would be redeemed from something called the Fall of Man. She didn’t understand that, and had no one to ask. The one thing that caught her interest was that a fat jolly old man would come and climb down the chimneys and deliver toys to all the children of the world. She had heard he lived at the North Pole, but never took the trek up into the artic, because the cold was starting to bother her. She had begun to dress in layers now, which didn’t suit her. There was at least two feet of snow here. She pulled her coat closer. She had spoken with Gabrielle a few times, but the Amazons were hard to come by these days. When last they spoke, Gabrielle told her that they would be in hiding until the Amazon population grew a little stronger.

She found herself thinking about what she wondered so long ago: would she ever find her soul mate? The loneliness was getting to be a real downer. Yeah, she had been married to Hephaestus, but it wasn’t enough. She had watched how mortals treated marriage and wanted that for herself.

She reached into a pocket and pulled out a small box. Inside was the last of her Ambrosia. Aphrodite was so deep in thought that she had walked into one of the mortals, causing them to drop all the packages they were carrying.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I was lost in thought.” She apologized as she knelt down to help pick up the wrapped packages.

“Its okay, Aphrodite.” A deep voice answered.

“Well, its just tha-wait a minute! What did you call me?!” she exclaimed, looking at the stranger that she crashed into.

He was an old man, heavy set with rosy red cheeks. He had white hair and a great white beard. He wore a brown suit in the style of the times and black boots that went to his knees. He smelled like cinnamon and apples to her. He smiled.

“I said it was okay, Aphrodite.” He repeated.

“How do you know my name?” she cautiously questioned. “Who are you?”

“I have many names.” Replied the stranger. “You can call me Santa Claus, if you wish.”

“Santa Claus? You’re kidding, right?” she exclaimed.

“No dear, I’m not.” Replied the old man.

“You’re the guy that delivers all the toys to the kids?! You can’t be.” She said

“Sure I can. I have a question for you. Why is the Goddess of Love moping around on the eve of the most festive day of the year?”

“How do you know…Are your trying to pick me up, Pops?” she asked.

“No Ma’am. I’m a happily married man. I have been for a long time. I was looking for you, however.”

“Me?” Aphrodite questioned. “Why?”

“You seem to know a little of me. Do you know where the toys I deliver come from.”

“I…I’ve heard rumors that you live at the North Pole.” She answered with a confused look on her face.

“Correct.” The old man answered. “I live in Christmas Town, up at the North Pole. I have a large toy factory. The reason I came here was to offer you a job. I could use your bubbly personality to boost the morale at the factory. The elves seem down this year.”

Aphrodite placed her hands and her hips. “You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you, old timer?”

“I most assuredly am not.” Santa said.

“Ares sent you.” She said darkly.

“No he did not, and I kindly ask you not to associate me with him!” the old man said angrily.

“I…didn’t mean to offend you.” Aphrodite said.

“Give me your hand.” The elderly man said quietly.

“What?” The goddess exclaimed. “You are trying to pick me up!”

“I told you I’m married. Trust me, Aphrodite. Take my hand, please.” The old man repeated.

Cautiously Aphrodite reached out and grasped the old man’s had. As soon as they touched, if felt like an electrical charge coursed into and through her. She could feel her powers returning to her. The cold wasn’t bothering her as it did before. She gasped as she released the old man’s hand.

“Wh-what was that?” She stammered as she looked wide-eyed at the old man.

“That was power of a child’s love. It is the only form of pure love left in this world.” The elderly man answered sadly. “Christmas Town is full of it. As long as you’re there, your powers will return.”

“Y-y-you really are Santa Claus!” Aphrodite said. “What do you need me for?”

“I told you, young lady. The elves’ spirits are down this year. You using your gifts would really bring some cheer to them. Also, we could use your help against Ares. If his vile plans continue, it could cancel out love in the entire world. You would vanish, and the children would suffer. I cannot allow that.”

Aphrodite thought for a moment. “Okay, Pops. I’ll accept your invitation!”

“Great!” Santa exclaimed. “And who knows. Maybe you’ll finally find the soul mate that you’ve been waiting for. Now follow me. The sleigh is parked behind this general store.”

Aphrodite picked up the small box that held the last of her Ambrosia. Maybe I won’t need this last piece after all. She thought to herself. Then Aphrodite helped pick up the packages and followed the old man, wondering how he knew about her wish for a soul mate…

One hundred and five years later…

Santa Claus took a sip of hot chocolate as he looked over the blue prints for the newest expansion of the toy factory.

“Things seem to be going according to plan.” Santa said, as he took a bite of a Christmas cookie. “Momma, these are the best.”

“Thank you, Poppa.” Mrs. Claus smiled.

Mrs. Claus had long brown hair and bright brown eyes. She had the body of a Victoria Secret model, despite all the cookies she ate. Santa on the other hand, looked as though he were a Chippendale dancer. He had short brown hair and blue eyes. It was only when he wore part of his ‘Santa’ outfit that he would change into the jolly ole elf we all know and love. The same was true for Mrs. Claus. When she wore her red velvet Christmas dress, she would change into the image of Mrs. Claus we all envision her as.

“Well…the new building should be done by next Christmas. Is Baxter using the new ice breaker yet?”

“I believe so.” Answered a female elf.

“Good. I think I’ll take a walk over to R & D and see how things are going.” Santa said as he stood up from the table.

“Why don’t you take Aphrodite with you?” Mrs. Claus suggested.

“She’s not bothering you, is she? I thought she was doing well since we brought her here.” Santa told his wife.

“She is, dear. I do question her outfits though. Why can’t she wear what the other elves wear?’ Asked Mrs. Claus.

“That’s what she’s used to wearing.” Santa said. “I say why rock the sleigh?”

“You would.” Sighed Mrs. Claus. “I’ll go see if she’s back from visiting her friend Gabrielle.”

“I’ll stay here until you come back.”

Meanwhile, out on the ice plains of the North Pole…

Baxter, the head elf of the Research and Development branch of Christmas Town, drilled deep into the icy plains of the North Pole using the ice digger, getting ready for the newest extension of the Christmas Town Toy Factory. He had short black hair, black eyes, and thick black horn-rimmed glasses. The ice digger his lab created effortlessly cut through the rock solid ice of the North Pole. The secret was that the large triple drill bits up front were super heated as they ran, causing the snow to melt as the drills chewed through the ice.

Just then, something caught his eye. He turned the ice digger off and rushed out in front of the vehicle. What he saw caused him to gasp. Sitting in front of the large red and green machine was a young woman encased in a block of ice. She had long black hair down to her shoulders. She wore a short brown leather skirt, with bonze decorations on the chest. Her feet were covered in knee high leather boots. In her right hand was a strange metal disk. In her left was an ancient looking sword.

“Great Bouncing Icebergs!” Baxter shouted in his high pitched nasally voice. “It’s a Snow Angel!”

Baxter pulled out from his belt a small silver cylinder. He pressed a green button on the side. A foot long yellow laser beam jetted from the cylinder. Baxter carefully cut the ice block surrounding the young woman down to a size he could manage, and placed the newly carved block on the back of the ice digger. Then he drove back to Christmas Town as fast as he could…

“Hiya Pops!” Aphrodite greeted Santa as she and Mrs. Claus returned.

Aphrodite wore a green and red colored negligee with a white see-through netting over top. She had a green hat on top of her head, and red and white shoes. Her blonde hair seemed to be more curly and golden and her eyes’ blue color seemed to have intensified since she arrived over one hundred years ago. The pure love from children seemed to do her wonders. Her powers were strong in this place. But Aphrodite found that when she left to help on errands, her powers would be cut in half.

“Greetings.” Santa said. “I’m heading down to R&D to see how things are going. I thought you might wish to tag a long.”

“Sure!” Aphrodite replied.

“Well, then. Follow me.”

Santa grabbed his red jacket. Aphrodite watched as the young man morphed into the form of the world famous Santa Claus.

The two began their walk to the R&D department…

Inside the R&D lab…

Baxter had silently smuggled his ‘snow angel’ into his lab. He had set up solar lamps around the block of ice to melt it. The growing pool of water was flowing to a drain in the floors. Baxter had estimated that the thaw would take at least four point five minute. He had just enough time to change out of his winter clothes. He hurried back to his apartment…

Three minutes later…

Santa, Aphrodite and a small elf named Kimmy, who was head of the Retail Department, entered Baxter’s office. The sight that greeted their eyes was shocking. A young woman was partially encased in a block of ice. Around her were powerful solar lights, which were quickly melting the ice.

“Sweet Christmas!” Santa and Kimmy exclaimed.

“By the gods!” Aphrodite gasped. “It’s Xena!”

Santa turned to look at Aphrodite. “Ah yes. The warrior princess.”

Just then, Baxter came sliding into the room. He took one look at the three of them, and jumped in front of the block of ice.

“She’s mine!” he yelled. “I found her!”

“Stand aside, Baxter.” Santa warned, eyeing the young woman’s body.

“No!” Baxter insisted, folding his arms across his chest. “I found her!”

“Baxter, step away, or I’ll lose the coat.” Santa warned.

Kimmy giggled. Baxter thought for a moment. Then he reluctantly side stepped away.

Santa came forward and knelt down and placed his ear just above the warrior princess’ nose and mouth. His eyes widened.

“Great freezing icicles!” He exclaimed. “She’s breathing!”

“She’s alive?!” Kimmy exclaimed.

“Yes, but not by much. We need to get her blood pumping. Kimmy, get me a cup of Momma’s coffee!”

“Santa, are you sure?!” Kimmy asked in disbelief.

“Of course, child! Now hurry!” Santa ordered.

Kimmy raced out of the lab.

“How could this be?” Aphrodite asked Santa. “I understand the prophecy, but…how can she be alive?”

“I have a theory.” Santa answered. “Aphrodite, I think she may be immortal. I just haven’t figured out the how.”

A minute later, Kimmy returned with a cup of a black, gelatinous substance. The spoon was sticking straight up in the middle of the cup. Santa chuckled as he took possession of the cup.

“Momma says she hopes you like it.” Kimmy said.

“She’s a wonderful cook.” Santa said with a chuckle. “But the poor woman can’t make a decent cup of coffee to save her life. Now the rest of you stay back. This may not be pretty.”

Santa approached the prone form of Xena from the right side. He gently opened her mouth. Baxter was standing on the left side, watching carefully. Santa took a small spoonful of coffee and placed it on her mouth. He then jumped backward. Instantly Xena’s eyes and mouth flew open and she sat up violently coughing, head butting Baxter in the process and knocking him out cold. Before anyone could react, she was off the table and in a battle stance.

“What was that stuff?!” Demanded the warrior princess.

She glanced around the room. Something didn’t look right about this. The place certainly didn’t look to be Greece, or any of the other places she had been in her life. As she looked around at the different people in the room, she found the only person she recognized was Aphrodite.

“Aphrodite.” Xena said coolly. “I should have known the gods were behind this. What’s going on?”

“Chill, warrior babe. It’s not what you think. A lot of time has passed since we last saw one another. A lot of time.”

“How long?” Xena demanded.

“A couple thousand years.” Answered the old man.

“Who are you?” Xena questioned. “One of Aphrodite’s boy toys?”

“I certainly am not! My name is Santa Claus. You are in my Research and Development lab at the North Pole. This is Christmas Town. We mean you no harm.”

“Who’s the short guy on the floor?” Xena asked, pointing her sword at the prone form of Baxter.

“That’s Baxter, head of the R&D division here.” Santa smiled. “He’s the one that found you in that block of ice.”

Xena thought for a moment. She remembered a battle against some type of creatures. Someone was with her. But then her memory went foggy. The confusion showed on her face.

“Kimmy.” Santa smiled. “Bring our guest a cup of Momma’s hot chocolate and some of her cookies.”

The female elf again ran off.

“Xena, why don’t we sit over here and wait for Kimmy to return. While we’re waiting, we can bring you up to speed on what’s been happening.” Santa suggested.

Santa and Aphrodite took turns explaining to Xena the different changes that had happened in the world since last the warrior princess walked it. A few minutes later, Kimmy returned with a steaming mug of hot chocolate and a small place of cookies. Xena carefully took the mug and sipped its contents. She smiled slightly.

“This is pretty good.” She commented.

She took one of the cookies from the tray and bit into it.

“Whoa…these are good.” She said. “I mean really, really good.”

“Xena…” Santa began as she took another cookie. “I would like you to think about staying here while you get caught up with history. I really could use your expertise on some things.”

“I have many skills. Which would you need?” asked Xena, taking a third cookie.

“Well…” Began Santa. “I want to create a child protection team. An elite group that could resolve extreme situations involving children and their safety.”

“You see, Xena. It’s not like it was in the old days. There’s no longer an open slave trade. It’s gone underground, and it seems to be targeting kids.” Aphrodite said.

“We could use your expertise in organizing, training and leading the team. While it’s being set up, you could continue your learning of the world.” Santa said.

“Who’s doing it?” Xena asked, biting into her fourth cookie.

“There are a lot of evil, twisted people in this world.” Santa told her.

“Why don’t I show you around?” Santa asked.

“Alright…” Xena said, grabbing the final cookie from the tray.

Santa, Xena, Aphrodite and a newly revived Baxter were walking through the different parts of Christmas Town. Santa had told Kimmy to double check the sub orbital toy distribution points. He wanted everything to be running smoothly for the twenty-forth.

“I know this is an awful lot.” Santa told the warrior princess. “Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Why don’t you ride with me in the sleigh? You’ll see how my whole operation runs.”

Xena thought for a moment. “I guess it can’t hurt.”

“Good. There’s something else we need to talk about, Xena…” Santa said “I don’t want to offend you, but…if you take the job, you may want to change your style of dress.”

“Why?” questioned the warrior princess.

“Well…I’ve gotta tell ya the truth, Xena.” Aphrodite explained. “The leather outfit went out a while ago.”

“Baxter, go get one of our newer outfits.” Santa said.

Baxter, who had kept his eyes on Xena since she woke up, raced down the hall. He came back a few minutes with what looked to be an outfit that came from a Victoria Secret catalog.

Xena glared at him. “I don’t think so.”

“I have the exact same outfit.” Aphrodite commented.

“Come on, Baxter.” Santa sighed. “Get the other outfit.”

“Fine!” Baxter said and ran off.

The elf ran returned a minute later holding a black tunic, cloak, leggings and knee high boots.

“We’re currently working on a new type of stealth suit that absorbs body heat, hiding the wearer from infra red scanners and heat detectors. We’re close, but still not successful.” Santa smiled.

Xena gave Santa a questioning look.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Santa said. “In this time we have machines that can track a person by their body heat. This outfit conceals the wearer’s body heat.”

Xena eyed them approvingly.

Suddenly, a loud siren began to wail.

“What’s that?” Xena asked, drawing her sword.

As if in answer, an announcement came over the loud speaker. “This is a red alert. This is a red alert. All priority personnel please report to the ELF command center. Repeating…”

Santa shook his head. He walker over to a console in the wall and pressed a button. “This is Santa. Can you give me a status report?”

The other end of the communications array was quiet.

“I…I’m sorry sir.” The voice came back. “It looks to be a code Abduct.”

Santa Claus shook his head again and fell in to a chair, his head in his hands.

“Aphrodite, what’s a code Abduct?” Xena asked.

“It’s when a child is taken from their parents. Code Abducts…don’t usually end happily.”

The warrior princess thought for a moment. Then she walked over and placed a hand on Santa Claus’ shoulder.

“Santa…If you can provide me with a room to say in and a ready supply of these cookies, then I’ll help you out.” She said.

“Thank you, Xena.” Santa smiled. “I’ll walk you back to transport. Since this is your first time in this world, you can accompany the team going out. When you return, we’ll start to bring you up to speed about this new world. ”

“Xena?” Aphrodite asked. “Do you want me to let Gabrielle know that you’re okay?”

Xena looked over at Aphrodite with a confused look on her face. “Who?”

Aphrodite was stunned. How could she forget her best friend; her soul mate. She had to tell Gabrielle.

“Aphrodite, could I have a minute of your time before I leave?” Santa asked as he watched Xena look around.

“Sure, pops.” Aphrodite said.

“Look. You see how Xena is right now. I need you to promise me that you will not tell Gabrielle about this.”

“Are you kidding me?” Aphrodite said. “I can’t do that. Gabs is her best friend.”

“You can see that Xena doesn’t remember her. If you bring Gabrielle here, it could cause even worse problems. You have to promise.” Santa said.

Aphrodite fumed. Santa knew what he was doing. She was a Goddess. And Goddesses and Gods had to keep their promises.

“Fine.” She sighed. “I promise.”

One year later…

Santa hung up the phone. He glanced over at Mrs. Claus, who was just putting the finishing touches on a large plate of cookies.

“Are those for me, Momma?” he asked.

“Sorry dear.” She replied. “Xena’s dropping by. I thought I’d make up a plate of cookies for her.”

“I swear she eats more of those things than I do.” He said.

“Who was on the phone?” asked Mrs. Claus.

“One of the elves that keep an eye on the department stores. Apparently one of the Santas called in sick, and they need someone to fill in.” Mr. Claus told his wife.

“But Poppa.” Protested Mrs. Claus. “It’s Christmas Eve. You have a lot to get ready for before tonight.”

“I trust the elves will have everything together by six o’clock. Kimmy’s a good elf. Besides, it’ll disappoint the children. I’m taking Aphrodite and Hermie with me.” Santa said.

“Why two helpers?” his wife asked.

Santa Claus gave his wife a look that told her that he somehow knew something she did not. She hated that look.

“Keep your secret then, Santa.” She said. “I’ll just let Xena eat all the cookies.”

“Did someone mention cookies?” Xena asked as she peeked her head around the corner of the kitchen door.

“Yes dear. I made you a plate of cookies. Enjoy.” Said Mrs. Claus.

Xena quickly walked over and snatched the plate before anyone could say anything else. Aphrodite arrived next.

“Just the lady I was about to look for.” Santa said. “I’m heading to a mall located in United States, to fill in for a Santa Claus who just caught the flu. I’m taking you and Hermie with me. Meet me in the hanger in five minutes.” Santa informed her.

“Cool!” Aphrodite said.

“Make sure you’ve changed into something a bit more…appropriate.” Santa said.

Aphrodite rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

A few minutes later, Aphrodite arrived in the hanger where the magical sleigh was kept. She still wore her elfish hat, but instead of her ‘normal’ attire, she wore a green tunic with red sleeves, green tights and red and green pumps. The tunic was a bit low cut. Santa sighed and shook his head.

“It’s better than nothing, I suppose.” He said.

The three entered the sleigh, and took off…

Aphrodite watched as the mortals brought their little ones to see Santa. She would give a candy cane to them as they left. Some of the kids pulled on his white beard and he would just laugh when their eyes would light up when the beard didn’t come off. He truly did love all the children.

She glanced away for a minute and saw one of the mortals walking down the mall with a stack of presents, already wrapped. He clumsily dropped one. As he bent to pick it up, a group of teenagers approached and kicked the gift away from him. Then they began knocking the rest of the gifts out of his hands. Aphrodite fumed with anger.

“Excuse me.” She said, thrusting the bag of candy canes at Hermie. “I need to take care of something.”

She walked over and picked up the gift that was kicked up the mall. As she approached, she found that the mortal carrying the gifts was a young man. He had short brown hair and blue eyes. She smiled as she bent down to help him.

“Are you okay?” she asked

“Yeah.” The young man answered.

The young man looked into Aphrodite’s eyes. Wow! She’s really beautiful!!

“You have very pretty eyes.” He said, blushing.

“Why…thank you.” She smiled. “I have to say that most guys don’t notice my eyes at first.”

The young man smiled. He took the package from her and said, “Look…if, well…if you’re not busy later, perhaps you’d like to go out for lunch or…dinner?”

What the heck? Aphrodite thought, clearly amused. It would be something different for a change. He’s taller than the elves.

Aphrodite smiled. “I’d like that. Let me tell Pops over there I’m going. Please wait here.”

The young man stood up, then offered his free hand to allow her to stand as well. Aphrodite smiled again, walked over to where Santa was sitting.

“Are you done flirting?” Hermie questioned as he rolled his eyes.

“Excuse me?” Aphrodite asked as she placed her hands on her hips. “I was helping the young man.”

“Oh please.” Hermie countered. “You both were grinning like idiots at each other.”

“’Like idiots’, eh?” she retorted, now rolling the sleeves up on her elfish outfit.

“Now just one minute.” Santa said. “Is something the matter, Aphrodite?”

“Well, Pops, that young man over there…he just asked me out.”

“Then enjoy. You have enough mojo to get home, right?” Santa smiled.

“More than enough. Are you sure you don’t’ need me to stay. I know you’re busy today, being the 24th.”

“Don’t worry. Hermie can fill in.” Santa winked. “Now have a nice time. And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“I’m the Goddess of Love, Santa. There are a lot of things I would do that you wouldn’t.” Aphrodite smirked.

“What?!” Hermie sputtered.

“Quiet Hermie!” Santa said.

Aphrodite quickly walked back to where the young man was standing.

“It’s cool.” She told him.

“Great!” the guy said. “Oh…I’m sorry. I forgot. My name is Jerm.”

“Oh…right. My name is…well its Aphrodite.”

“That’s a rather unique name. I like it.” Jerm smiled

“I’m a rather unique person.” She told him with a grin.

Jerm offered his arm, which she took. The two then walked out of the mall…

Aphrodite returned to Christmas Town around nine o’clock that evening. Santa was already delivering toys to the children of the world. Mrs. Claus was awaiting his return. She invited Aphrodite to sit with her, and tell her about her date. She told Mrs. Claus that they enjoyed lunch, dinner and each others company. They had exchanged phone numbers, and he had promised to call her the day after Christmas.

One year later…

“Hey Mrs. Claus?” Aphrodite asked, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “Are you busy?”

“Not at all, Aphrodite. Please come in.” Mrs. Claus invited.

The goddess walked slowly into the kitchen. Her normally pink negligee was black in color. Sitting on one of the kitchen counters was a little girl the age of four. She had long brown hair which was braided into two pig tails. She had brown eyes and wore glasses. She sat beside a large plate of cookies. Aphrodite had to smile.

“Hi Sweetpea!” Aphrodite beamed.

“Hi!” the little girl smiled and waived at Aphrodite. She then turned to Mrs. Claus. “Cookie?”

“Yes, dear. The cookies are done.” Mrs. Claus told the little girl

The little girl pulled out a special cell-phone and pressed the button. The small pink phone had only one number programmed into it.

“Hi!” Delorean spoke into the phone. “Yeah! Ok! Bye!”

Mrs. Claus chuckled as she shook her head.

“Aphrodite, would you like to try one of my new cookies?”

“No thanks.” Aphrodite said.

“Are you sure, dear? They’re chocolate fudge with a thin ribbon of peanut butter.” Mrs. Claus. “Chocolate makes people feel better.”

Aphrodite shook her head.

“Pssstt.” A voice said from the hallway.

The three turned to see Xena peeking from the around the doorway.

“Hi!” Delorean beamed.

“Hi!” Xena smiled back.

“Cookie?” Delorean asked, picking up a cookie and holding out towards the warrior princess.

“You bet!” Xena said. Then she saw Aphrodite. “I mean…I suppose.”

Xena took the cookie from the little girl and bit into it. “Oh yeah! These are really, really good.”

“Yeah!” Delorean said, grabbing another cookie and taking a bite.

“I’ll come back later.” Aphrodite smiled.

Xena could tell that something bothering Aphrodite. She looked at the Goddess of Love and shook her head.

“Hey Delorean!” Xena said. “Why don’t we try out some new toys?”

“Okay!” Delorean beamed.

Xena gave the child a large smile as she carried her in one hand. The warrior princess then subtly took the platter of cookies in the other. The two made their way down the hall.

“Now child.” Mrs. Claus said. “What’s troubling you?”

“Forgive me for asking…but when did you know Santa was your…’Mr. Right?’” Aphrodite asked.

“This is ironic.” Mrs. Claus said. “The Goddess of Love asking for advice on her love life.”

“Whatever.” Aphrodite replied.

“I’m sorry, dear. Please forgive me. I think it was the third date…why do you ask?” questioned Momma.

“I just…well…there’s this guy…” Aphrodite replied.

“Ah…the one Poppa was talking about. Jerk, wasn’t it?” Mrs. Claus said.

“Jerm.” Aphrodite corrected. “When I’m with him, I feel like my old self. When I’m away from him, I miss him terribly.”

“I see.” Mrs. Claus smiled. “Aphrodite…do you think he’s the one you’ve been looking for. Do you believe he’s your soul mate?”

“I think he is.” The love goddess confessed. “I mean…I told him everything about me a few months ago. And I mean everything. He didn’t freak out or anything, which is amazing. I love spending time with him, Momma.”

“Aphrodite, has he told you that he loves you?” Mrs. Claus answered.

“Yeah. Plenty of times. He always ends the phone conversation with that.”

“Have you told him how you feel about him?” Mrs. Claus questioned.

“I say, ‘back at ya babe’, or ‘ditto’.” Aphrodite answered.

“That’s not what I asked.” Momma said.

Aphrodite got quiet for a moment. “No, I-I haven’t been able to yet.”

“You do love him, right?” Momma asked softly. “I would hate for you to be stringing him along!”

“Of course I do!” Aphrodite snapped. “I-It’s just that…I’ve been around a very long time, and had my share of loves that were lost. Jerm is…I’m just…”

“I see the problem.” Mrs. Claus said. “He’s a mortal, which means that due to your immortality, the years you spend with him will seem like an hour.”

Aphrodite nodded.

“What else is wrong?” Mrs. Claus asked.

“He hasn’t called in two days.” Aphrodite answered. “When last I spoke with him, he told me he’d see me in a few days. We were planning to get together for Christmas. I called to double check where I was meeting him, but no one answers.”

Mrs. Claus placed her hand on Aphrodite’s shoulder. “He’ll get in touch with you, child. The way you talk about him, anyone can see you’re meant to be together. But you have to tell him that you love him, just as much as he loves you. I once heard that the cruelest thing in this world is love that goes unreturned. If you truly love him as you’ve just admitted, you have to let him know. A solution to the little problems will present itself.”

Aphrodite smiled. “Thanks, Momma. I feel a lot better.”

Just then, the alarms began to scream.

“What in the starry sky…” Mrs. Claus said.

An announcement came over the loud speaker. “Christmas Town may have been discovered. This is not a drill. All personnel to their stations! Repeating: Christmas Town may have been compromised!”

“Oh no!” Aphrodite said.

“No time to fret now, dear. Follow me!” Mrs. Claus told her.

Mrs. Claus pulled on a wall sconce in her kitchen. A door seemed to magically appear. The two quickly raced down the corridor.

The dark hallway led into a very large cavern. The cave was extremely well lit and filled with computers. Elves were running every which way, with fax sheets and computer printouts.

“Whoa!” Aphrodite exclaimed aloud. “What is this place?”

“This is ELF.” Mrs. Claus answered as she looked around. “I’m the head of this organization. We monitor the children’s behavior all over the world. You know, the infamous ‘naughty or nice list’. This is also how we find out about children that are in danger. That’s where Xena comes into play.”

“I got here as soon as I could.” Xena said, arriving behind them. “What’s the situation?”

“We were just about to ask.” Mrs. Claus answered.

The three began walking to the large central computer. Aphrodite turned to ask Xena a question, when she noticed something. She nudged Xena’s arm, and pointed to her cheek. Xena wiped her cheek.

“What was that? Chocolate?” Aphrodite whispered.

“Maybe…” Xena answered, not looking at her.

The three arrived at the computer. An elf was busy typing.

“What have we got?” asked Xena.

“About twenty minutes ago, this showed up on our monitors.”

The monitor screen changed over to a view of the plains in front of Christmas Town. There was a tiny dot moving.

“That’s it?” questioned Xena.

“Yeah, but this is unmagnified.” The elf answered.

With a few keystrokes from the elf, the image was enhanced by fifty percent. Now the three could definitely see a medium sized figure slowly moving towards the town.

“We can cloak at anytime.” Another elf yelled across the cavern.

“It’s too late for that.” Mrs. Claus said. “He’s definitely on his way here. Is Santa still up in one of the sub-orbital distribution points with Kimmy?” Mrs. Claus asked.

“Yes ma’am.” One of the elves answered.

One elf with a large sheet of computer paper approached Mrs. Claus.

“Ma’am.” He began. “I thought I’d bring this to your attention.”

“What is it, Jim?” she asked.

“This is the naughty list.” The elf explained. “Over the past month, it’s skyrocketed. We can’t figure out why. Also, wars and violence are up almost fifty percent.”

“This is troubling, but it will have to wait.” Mrs. Claus told him.

“Can we magnify the image again?” Aphrodite asked as she stared at the monitor.

The elf at the console nodded, and the image of the lone walker grew. He fell face first in the snow, and then stood back up.

“He’s exhausted.” Xena commented. “You can tell by the way he’s walking. If he falls again, he may not get back up. What’s the weather outside?”

“The temperature is falling rapidly and the snow is about to pick up in intensity.” An elf at the weather station answered. “From the looks of radar, we’re about to get one of the biggest storms in Christmas Town history!

“Oh…my…gods!” Aphrodite gasped as she stared at the image.

“What is it, dear?” Mrs. Claus asked.

“I-its him!” she shriek. “I-its him!”

“Him who?” Xena asked, clearly confused.

“It’s Jerm!” she said, turning to Xena. “It’s Jerm! H-he was coming here?!”

“Get search and rescue out there now and bring him in!” Mrs. Claus ordered. “Communications, get me Santa now!”

A direct line to Santa was opened, and Mrs. Claus quickly filled her husband in on the situation. Santa nodded. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Should Momma make some coffee?” Aphrodite asked, as the worry showed on her face.

“Aphrodite!” Santa said in a low voice, as he watched Momma turn to order the search and rescue teams. “I thought you cared for that mortal. You give him some of her coffee and it’ll kill him! Just relax and get yourself to the hospital.”

Aphrodite nodded and quickly left the center. Xena approached Mrs. Claus. “Jerm…is that her…boyfriend?”

Mrs. Claus nodded. “I have a feeling we’ll be needing a new cottage built.”

The two turned to the monitor to watch the search and rescue units arrive at the now stumbling mortal…

Aphrodite paced in the waiting area of the small Christmas Town Hospital. She felt as though she had been waiting for hours.

What was he thinking?! She thought to herself. She thought about how the past year had flown by. She did love him, but…could she tell him?

Just then, one of the elves arrived in the waiting area, dressed in scrubs.

“Aphrodite?” he asked.

The goddess turned and looked at her. “Yes?”

“You can see him now.” She smiled.

“He’s okay, then?” the goddess asked.

The doctor nodded. “Yeah. We did give him a some of Momma’s special hot chocolate. It’ll keep him asleep until morning. This way he’ll recover most of his strength.”

Aphrodite nodded, relief flooding through her. She followed the doctor/elf to where Jerm’s room was.

The doctor led her to a small room. Jerm looked to be peacefully asleep. She glanced around the room. The walls of the room were painted white. In the corner of the room was a red and green painted dresser. On top of the dresser were the clothes he arrived in. His coat was hanging on a hook mounted on the door. Aphrodite walked over to where the clothes were sitting. She picked up the long sleeved flannel shirt he had been wearing. She smiled at the next layer of clothing he had worn. It was a faded blue T-shirt, with a red and yellow design on it. She remembered the first time she’d seen him wearing it. They were going to the movies in the middle of summer. She had worn a pink T-shirt and blue jeans. (Momma told her it wouldn’t be proper to wear her normal outfit.) She met him at his small apartment. When he opened the door, the design was the first thing she noticed. When asked, he told her it was one of the last things his mother had given him. The symbol he wore was in honor of the one who truly represented truth and justice. It was a red letter ‘S’ on a yellow background, encased in a diamond-esqu shield. She smiled for a minute, and then walked out with the article of clothing…

Aphrodite returned a few minutes later. Jerm was still sleeping peacefully. She glanced over at a clock, which read ‘ten thirty.’ She was so relieved he was okay. She’d yell at him tomorrow. Just for now, she just wanted to be close to him. Aphrodite quietly pulled a chair as close as she could to the bed, and placed her head upon his chest, just listening to her soul mate’s heartbeat…

The next morning…

Aphrodite raced down hall. She had wanted to be there when Jerm woke up, but Baxter took up too much of her time. She carried a wrapped package in her left hand. Momma had insisted that she wear something a bit more…”covering” was the word she chose. So instead of her pink negligee, the goddess wore a black T-shirt, blue jeans and sneakers. She carefully knocked on the door and opened it. Jerm was just finishing making his bed. He was already dressed.

“Good morning.” He smiled. “Are you surprised yet?”

“Surprised?!” she yelled. “You could’ve been killed! What were you thinking?! Do you know how cold it was last night?! From what the elves in the weather department said, we broke a record! If I wasn’t the Goddess of Love, I’d kill you right now!”

“Not the reaction I was expecting…” Jerm replied. He could see her cheeks were flushed, which he learned early in their courting was not a good omen.

“Not the reaction you were expecting?!” she yelled. “What did you want me to do, leap joyously into your arms?!”

“Look,” He began. “I’m sorry. I should have told you what I had planned.”

“Yeah, you should have. I would have tried to talk you out of something this crazy! Why in Tartarus did you come here? You know I gladly would have met you at your apartment.” Aphrodite told him.

Jerm nodded. “Look, the twenty fourth was a few days away. I really wanted to see you.”

Jerm could see a flicker of a smile on her face. “I had hoped you wanted to see me as well.”

“Of course I did.” She told him. “Jerm, I need to tell you something.”

“Please, let me finish. I did want to see you, but I needed to ask you something.”

“Jerm…” Aphrodite interrupted. “Please allow me to finish.”

Jerm nodded.

“Have you ever wondered…I…this is so difficult. I-Jerm, do you know…” she sighed.

She walked over to him and hugged him. “Jerm…I love you. I’m sorry I never told you before. It’s just that with being immortal, I-I’ve lost a lot of loves in my time. I-its hard to watch someone you care for leave this plane of existence, while you remain. As I look back, I can see that I thought I loved them, but that all changed when I met you. I have no doubts that you are my soul mate.”

Jerm smiled at her. “I’ve thought the same about you. This makes things a little easier.”

“What are you talking about?” Aphrodite asked.

Jerm reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. He opened it. Inside was a slightly tarnished diamond ring.

“Sorry it’s not sparkling. I tried to clean it the best I could. This was my mother’s last gift to me. She told me that when I met the right girl, I was to give this to her.”

“By the gods!” She exclaimed. “You’re proposing, aren’t you?”

Jerm nodded. “Aphrodite, will you marry me?”

Aphrodite’s thoughts seemed like they were buzzing in her mind at a hundred miles per hour. She did want to spend the rest of her life with him, but the whole mortal thing…no. She wasn’t going to lose something great due to a technicality. Mrs. Claus said the small things would sort themselves out. If only she could somehow talk to Gabrielle…

Aphrodite smiled to herself. She just found her answered.

“Jerm…” she began. “Please know that whatever you tell me in the next few minutes, I will indeed marry you. I give you my word. Just hear me out. As I told you before, it’s very hard to lose someone you love deeply. I have the power to make sure it never happens again.”

“How?” Jerm asked.

“I can make you an immortal. You would never age, but there are still ways for an immortal to die. When I came here to Christmas Town over one hundred years ago, I had with me the final piece of Ambrosia. It’s a small piece, but it would make you immortal.”

Jerm thought for a moment.

“Aphrodite, are you sure you can put up with me for eternity?” he asked.

She smiled. “I guess so. Is that a yes?”

Jerm looked into her eyes. “Only if it will make you happy.”

Aphrodite smiled again. “Of course it will!”

She then waved her left hand over her right hand. A small pink and silver box appeared. She opened the box. The final piece of Ambrosia was the size of a raspberry. She gently pulled the piece out of the box and handed it to Jerm. He smiled, then ate her last piece of Ambrosia.

As she watched, a thought came to Aphrodite’s mind. What if it wasn’t enough?

“Jerm…” she asked. “I want to make sure that it worked. So I have an idea. I’m going to transfer some of my power to you, just to be sure, okay?”

“How is it done?” he asked.

“It only takes a touch and some concentration.” She answered. “But in your case…”

She walked over to Jerm and kissed him deeply. A pink aura began to surround the two for a minute. Jerm could feel energy coursing through him. Then the aura vanished. Aphrodite smiled.

“How do you feel?” they asked each other at the same time. They laughed.

“What’s the package you were carrying?” he asked.

“Oh this.” She said, handing it to him. “It’s for you. I…I knew how important it was to you, so I had our R&D department fix it up. Go ahead and open it.”

Jerm opened the gift. He smiled. It was a deep blue, long sleeved shirt. On the front was the familiar red ‘S’ on a yellow background. “Thank you. I’ll treasure it always.”

“Now,” Aphrodite said. “We have a lot of planning to do. But first let me introduce you to a few friends.”

Aphrodite showed Jerm around Christmas Town. She introduced him to Xena, Delorean, and the Clauses. Soon it would be spring and the two would be married.

Little did Jerm, Aphrodite and Xena know what would be in store for them…

Chapter 1: The Heist

December 22^nd, 2006

Somewhere in the United States…

The black sky lit up like it was day as the lighting bolt flared. The crack of thunder that came a few seconds later seemed to almost shake the ground. The rain pounded against the glass windows of a tall skyscraper, the headquarters of Mars Inc.

Inside the enormous office complex, on the top floor, a lone figure stood at the glass window, watching the storm outside. The figure stood in a black suit, black shirt and deep red tie, hands clasped behind his back. His black hair was slicked back and his goatee was neatly trimmed. His dark eyes took delight in watching the awesome power the storm possessed. This was a time of meditation for him, a last minute run through of his plans, making sure everything was perfect.

The elevator behind him dinged, letting him know that someone had arrived. He already knew who it was. His assistant. Well…she was a bit more than that. After all, they only had been together for over two thousand years…

The young woman stepped off the elevator. She removed the false glasses she had been wearing, and loosened her blonde hair from its ponytail. She wore a black suit jacket, red blouse, black skirt, nude colored nylons and black pumps. She removed the suit jacket and flung it onto a near by chair. She worked as a secretary at Mars Inc, balancing the books. The company looked like it was just a regular software giant, but it secretly funded money to anyone who wanted to start a war in any country. The being at the windows thrived on violence and war. It gave him power.

“The mortals have left for the day, Ares.” Callisto said and she stood next to him, watching the lighting storm.

“Good. How’d we do today?” Ares, God of War, asked his associate.

“Alright.” She replied. “We’ve made a lot of money. But according to the stocks, AmTech is still out doing us.”

Ares made a fist and pounded it into his other hand. “I would love to know where they came from. So we were second highest in the market.”

“Third, actually.” Callisto told him. “Mrs. C’s Cookies outdid us today.”

Ares let out a groan. Those two companies seemed to spring up over night, and it’s been a battle in the stock market since.

“How are the preparations up north?” He asked, turning to face her.

“Our headquarters is nearly finished.” She answered. “The foreman tells me that they should be done early morning of the twenty fourth, just as we hoped.”

“Excellent.”Ares said. “Nothing can stop us this time. Was the call made?”

“Yes.” Callisto replied. “A small town will be holding a last minute Christmas parade. He’ll be sure to show up. The sentiment of that old fool will be his downfall. But Ares, what is so important about his sleigh?”

“Ah…” Ares said, his eyes shining with excitement. “It is said that Santa’s sleigh has powerful magic. On the twenty fourth of December, however, its power is amplified one hundred fold. With that sleigh, I can cause all types of chaos, giving myself all the power I need.”

The God of War smirked. “I’ll have the power of ten grinches; plus two.”

“Do you think anyone can stop us?” Callisto asked, as she walked over to the mini bar. She poured two tumblers of brandy and returned to Ares’ side, offering him one.

“I’ve thought about that.” Ares answered. “In the old days, I’d be worried that Xena and that annoying sidekick of hers would show up in the final stages and completely ruin everything. But she and the brat are…well…history.”

Both Ares and Callisto laughed as lighting lit up the dark night…

Somewhere else in the United States…

Mara Jenson and her seven year old son Tyler were walking back to their car in a dimly lit parking lot. Mara carried four bags at once, while her son tried to aid her in carrying one other. Ever since Tyler’s father took off to Sweden with his ‘secretary’ shortly before Tyler was born, life had been the pits. The two were just scraping by, but with the economy the way it was, Mara was fearful they would soon lose their home. Things could not get any worse. That’s when she heard the footsteps behind them.

“Mom…” Tyler began to say, but Mara hushed him.

“I know, baby. Just a few more feet to the car.” She soothed.

Unfortunately, Mara and Tyler never made those couple feet. She didn’t look back to see her pursuers, and that cost her. The two were closer than what she had thought. The first grabbed Tyler while the second viciously spun her around. Her attacker grabbed a fistful of Mara’s long brown hair.

“Let my mommy go!” Tyler defiantly yelled as he struggled with the young man that held him.

“Shut up, kid.” Snapped the first man, still holding onto Mara’s hair.

Mara’s attacker’s dark eyes locked with her bright green ones.

“Now listen, lady.” Her attacker’s voice whispered. “If ya scream even once, yer kid gets it. Show her the blade, Stan.”

The thug that held Tyler brandished a long bladed knife from his back pocket.

“Now.” Continued the slime that held Mara. “First, yer gonna give us all yer cash. Nice and easy like.”

Mara slowly handed the thug her purse, which he grabbed maliciously from her and handed it towards Stan. His eyes narrowed as he looked Mara’s trim figure over.

“Now…” he whispered. “You and I are gonna have a little fun.”

So that’s what it comes down to. Mara thought to herself. If I scream, they’ll kill my son.

Mara thought her heart was going to burst through her chest from the way it had been beating. Her breathing was beginning to speed up as well. She couldn’t panic, for Tyler’s sake.

“I-I don’t care what you do to me.” She said, trying to keep her voice from quavering. “But not in front of my son.”

The thug smirked. “Of course.”

Mara turned her back to her attacker to unlock the car. The thug turned to his buddy and gave him a ‘thumb’s up’. Then he screamed in pain. The punk looked down to see a small arrow sticking in his thigh. He immediately dropped to his knees yelling.

His buddy Stan turned around as well. Standing a few feet away were two women. One was tall and had short black hair and brown eyes. She wore a black trench coat, black shirt, black tights and black boots. She was holding a crossbow the size of a small pistol. The second girl had long red hair and green eyes. She wore a brown leather jacket which was unzipped, a black T-shirt with white letting that read, “The Force is strong with this one.” She also wore blue jeans and white sneakers.

The injured punk screamed to his associate, “Don’t just stand there! Kill ‘em!”

Stan released Tyler and began walking towards the two young women, spinning his knife around.

“Allow me.” The red head said to her friend.

“Please, by all means.” The other said.

The young red haired woman stepped forward to meet her attacker. Stan took his knife and made a lunge towards her middle. The young woman caught his wrist and twisted it, until there was an unnerving crack, causing Stan to howl in pain and fall to his knees.

“Be thankful we’re not allowed to use lethal force, scum.” The brunette hissed as the two walked passed the incapacitated thugs.

“Who are you?” Mara questioned the women as she put herself between them and her son.

“Relax, sister.” The red head smiled. “We’re friends. I’m Tina and the serious one is Miranda.”

“Please come with us.” Miranda said to Mara and her son.

“I don’t even know you.” Mara told the two women.

“Please forgive Miranda.” Tina smiled. “We need to get you someplace safe. These two belong to a large gang of thugs. We can protect you, but only if you follow us.”

“I told you I don’t know you.” Repeated Mara.

“Mommy,” Tyler spoke up. “They’re the good guys. They beat up those bad men who were going hurt us. We can trust them.”

“Look Ms.” Miranda sighed. “If you want the truth, here it is. We’re Amazons. We always travel in two. Tina is my protégé. She’s not yet a fully trained Amazon warrior.”

Miranda then took off her trench coat and rolled up her left sleeve. On her shoulder was a tattoo of a silver disk with a brown quarterstaff through it.

“This is our symbol. When a woman joins the ranks of the Amazons, they receive this tattoo on their left shoulder. Tina, being an initiate, wears a pin.”

Tina then pointed out the small golden pin on her jacket.

“We don’t know the particulars of your life, but we can take care of you. We have a safe house not far from here. From there the choice is yours. You can stay a few days, and then go back to your home, or you can choose to join us and become an Amazon yourself.”

Tyler looked at Tina. He smiled. “I like your shirt.”

“Thank you.” Tina smiled back.

“So…you’re like Jedi!” He said. “You’re Miranda’s padawan.”

Tina smiled at the small boy. “Yes. In fact, I am a Jedi. But I can assure you I’m no Anakin Skywalker.”

The small boy looked at the young woman quizzically. “But…Anakin brought balance to the Force.”

“No he didn’t. He broke Padme’s heart, and killed millions.” Tina argued.

“You haven’t seen Return of the Jedi yet, have you?” Tyler told the young woman.

“No…I was going to watch it tonight when we got back.” Tina admitted.

“I’m sorry.” Mara blushed. “He’s a bit passionate about Star Wars.”

“It’s okay.” Miranda smiled. “So is Tina.”

“If you’re a Jedi, where’s your lightsaber?” Tyler asked.

“Yes, Tina.” Miranda added with a smirked. “Where’s your lightsaber?”

“I’m working on it.” Tina huffed.

“I guess it can’t hurt to follow you.” Mara told the two women.

The four walked two blocks when they rounded the corner to see a large building across the street. In bright green letters read the word ‘AmTech.’

“That’s our destination.” Miranda told Mara and Tyler.

“AmTech?” Mara question. “I’ve heard of them. This company just started a few years ago. I read it rated one of the best places to work in the U.S.”

“Correct.” Miranda nodded. “It’s short for Amazon Technologies. We have the most advanced state of the art Research and Development departments around.”

“May I ask a question?” Mara said.

“Of course.” Tina nodded.

“If I decided to stay, what would happen?” Mara questioned.

“Well…it depends.” Miranda began. “If you just want to stay, you and Tyler would be transported to a secure housing project where you could live the rest of your life. There are many who live there that do not wish to become Amazons. If you wish to become an Amazon, you would be taken to the island to meet the queen. She would interview you and decide if you would become an initiate. If so, you would be assigned to an Amazon for training. When you’ve completed your training, you would be taken back to the island for the test. If you pass, you would become an Amazon warrior, and assigned a sector. Tyler could stay with you until the age of fourteen. He would then stay at one of the afore mentioned housing areas, until he turned eighteen, when he would have to leave.”

The four walked up to the doors of the AmTech building. Miranda placed her hand upon the scanner. After a few seconds, a side door opened. The small group entered.

The lobby appeared to look just as a business lobby would after hours. Tina led the way to a small elevator. After the four entered, Miranda placed her hand on another scanner. The device flashed for a few seconds, then turned green.

A voice spoke. “Destination?”

“New arrivals, please.” Miranda answered.

The elevator began its decent.

“Your queen lives on an island?” Mara asked, truly interested in her change of fate.

“Well…” Tina began. “Yes. There is an island where she reigns. When things get really hairy, then she personally comes into play. She’s been in quite a few battles recently. Right now she’s in seclusion.”

“For what?” Mara asked.

“It’s going to sound crazy.” Miranda began to explain. “But they say our queen is immortal. Legends say that she’s waiting for her friend to return. When this friend comes, the queen will continue their journey together, fighting for the greater good. Because she is immortal, she has the pain of watching those she cares for leave this world. She recently lost a very good friend. When this happens, the queen goes into seclusion to grieve for a few days. She can be reached if there is an emergency that requires her attention.”

Mara nodded. She did have a very strong sense of right and wrong. Perhaps her destiny lay with becoming one of these Amazons. As the elevator continued it’s decent, Mara found herself wishing to meet this mysterious and mystical queen…

On the Isle of Artemis…

Gabrielle and Jamie, her bodyguard, walked through the forest of the small island that was home to many Amazons. The isle was the size of Alaska, and was recently recognized as a sovereign nation. They had begun trading with other countries. Gabrielle had seen many changes throughout the years.

Her most favored was A.S.P., which stood for Amazon Security Patrol. A.S.P. would respond to global threats with a secret strike team that would slip in and neutralize said threat, then disappear without a sound. Jamie was the head of A.S.P.

Thanks to AmTech buildings around the globe, the Amazons were in almost every nation in the world. AmTech headquarters was located on the isle of Artemis, which Gabrielle had founded one thousand years before. Being an immortal had its advantages, but also its drawbacks. When a good friend would pass, Gabrielle would exile herself here, to allow herself to grieve.

“Jamie, how are things in the U.S.?” Gabrielle questioned.

“Do you mean our stocks and such? We’re very high in the stock market, beating out Mars Inc. from what I’m told.”

“No, how are things in general?” Gabrielle said.

Jamie sighed. “Just like everywhere else in the world, your highness. Crime, violence and hatred are almost at an all time high. Honestly, something just doesn’t seem right.”

“I know. Ares, the God of War, has really caused a lot of strife and chaos over the years. He’s gaining power, Jamie.” Gabrielle told her loyal friend.

Gabrielle sadly smiled. “You know, in the old days, Xena and I would have found Ares, and stopped him.”

“You still can, your highness.” Jamie told Gabrielle. “I’m more than willing to fight alongside you.”

Gabrielle smiled. “Someday, my friend, but I’m still waiting for the return of my friend. When she comes back, the regent will take over, and you’ll need to protect her.”

“Where are you going?” Jamie asked.

“I’ll go back to traveling with her.” Gabrielle said.

A hurt look came over Jamie’s face.

“You’re a great friend, Jamie, but you’ll be needed here. You’re also the head of A.S.P. Those lucky enough to reach that level will need your guidance.”

“I understand, your highness.” Jamie said.

As the two continued their walk, Gabrielle began to think of the many adventures she and Xena had shared. She missed her friend very much. Her thoughts then turned to Aphrodite. Gabrielle hadn’t seen her in over a year, and the Goddess of Love usually checked in on her. Gabrielle wondered what Aphrodite was up to…

Christmas Town, the North Pole…

Aphrodite glanced out the window that was in her office at the Claus’ toy factory. Santa came to her a few months ago and asked her to start a letter column for a few months. It began in the Christmas Town Gazette as Dear ‘Dite. It became a sensation. Santa then thought to try the column globally using the internet. Within a month, she was answering love letters from all over the world. She always made it her first priority to answer the elves’ letters first, because they were like a family to her.

She also had toned down the use of her powers, because she wanted to stay under Ares’ radar. She looked out the window again, this time allowing her gaze to fall on a small house that was a few hundred yards away. It was a red brick ranch with a gray roof. The chimney billowed gray smoke into the cold December air. She smiled. That was her house. And she knew that Jerm was there, waiting for her to get off work in an hour. She and Jerm had been married for close to six months. Aphrodite had to admit that this was the first time in a very long time she had been happy. Just then, there was a soft knock at her door. She turned to see Xena standing in the doorway, hold little Delorean, who was now four years old.

“Hi!” Delorean smiled.

“Hi, Sweet pea!” Aphrodite beamed.

“Thanks for watching her while I have the self defense class for the elves.” Xena told the Goddess of Love.

“No problem.” Aphrodite said.

“She brought some cookies and toys.” Xena said. “Are you ready to stay with Aphrodite?”

Delorean nodded, and reached towards Aphrodite. The Goddess took the small child into her arms. As Xena turned to leave, Delorean reached into the small bag she had.

“Xena!” the child called out.

The warrior princess turned to see Delorean offering her a cookie. She walked over and took the treat from Delorean.

“Thanks, Delorean!” Xena beamed.

She took a bite of the cookie, waved to the two, and walked out of the door.

“What were you doing at the window?” the child asked Aphrodite.

The Goddess smiled. “I was looking at something. Would you like to see?”

“Yeah!” Delorean exclaimed.

“Okay.” Aphrodite smiled.

As she walked towards the large window again, Aphrodite could see her house. She smiled again. She couldn’t wait to get home…

Jerm easily carried the television and VCR into the kitchen. He had to admit, it wasn’t as heavy as he thought. He plugged both in and turned back to the stove. The pasta was done, and he was about to try to cook desert. Ever since his engagement to Aphrodite, Jerm began watching the Food Network. He was slowly becoming a good cook. He looked back at the table. He had set the table, and had two pink candles waiting to be lit. The salad was already on the table. He had also gone out earlier and bought rose petals. He sprinkled them from the front door to the bedroom. He wanted everything to be perfect. He only had dessert to make. He picked up the remote and turned the TV on. Then he hit the play button on the VCR. The image of a brunette with blonde highlights and brown eyes appeared on the screen.

“Welcome back to Thirty Minute Meals! I’m Rachel Ray, and we’re ready to make our dessert.”

“Okay, Giggles.” Jerm said. “Show me what to do.”

Jerm had started calling the host of the cooking show ‘Giggles’ after he saw an episode where she laughed for half the episode while she cooked.

‘Now our dessert today was borrowed from a friend of mine, Ms. Paula Deen.” The host continued. “We’re making Bananas Foster.”

Jerm glanced over toward the stove, making sure he had the ingredients as Rachel named them.

“Oh!” the hostess said. “I forgot the bananas! You can’t make Bananas Foster without the bananas!”

Rachel laughed at herself, which caused Jerm to chuckle.

“I’ve had this dish before and it is delish!” the hostess said as she continued cooking.

Rachel continued talking and showing how to make the dessert.

“Now comes the exciting part!” Rachel said to the camera. “We’re going to add rum to this, then set the pan on fire. Don’t worry about measuring the amount of rum, just eyeball it. Make sure to stay away from the stove when you light the match and place it near the pan. You don’t want to singe your eyebrows off!”

The hostess laughed again. The camera showed her pouring the rum into the pan with the bananas and then lighting it with a long matchstick. As the pan caught fire, Rachel jumped back and laughed again. She explained that the small fire would burn itself out.

As she poured the finished bananas over a piece of pound cake, she added some vanilla ice cream and a sprig of mint to it.

“Now how good does that look!” Rachel exclaimed. “I can tell you right now that this is going to be Yum-o!”

The camera then showed the hostess’ smiling face.

“That does it for now. I’m Rachel Ray, showing that you can make you and your honey a very romantic dinner in less than thirty minutes!”

Jerm turned the TV and the VCR off and turned his attention to the stove. He began cooking the bananas in butter as Rachel had explained. When it came time to add the rum, he turned to the counter beside the stove. There sat eight different kinds of rum. He didn’t know what kind to buy, so he just grabbed one of each kind they had. Jerm kept the receipt, so which ever he didn’t use he could take back.

For a few seconds, his thoughts drifted back three months ago. He had wanted to plan a surprise for Aphrodite, because she had been really working hard on her advice column. She loved roses, so he had decided to run down to the Christmas Town flower shop and buy a dozen. He had gotten a late start, and after locking the house, Jerm had begun running down the street. Knowing that he was late, Jerm ran as fast as he could. That was then the ‘incident’ occurred. Before he knew what was happening, things were blurring around him. When he stopped, he was standing in the middle of Italy. He figured he was there anyway, and bought some flowers from there. Then he figured if it happed once, why not twice. He began running again. This time it seemed easier to see what was going on around him when the speed kicked in. He was able to get back to the North Pole in plenty of time to greet his beloved wife with the flowers. She was very surprised to see flowers from Italy, and asked where he got them. He simply told her he ran out for them. He didn’t tell her about the ‘speed boost’, because she had been a little worried about what Ares had been up to and he didn’t want to add to her trouble. Since then, Jerm had been practicing his new ability.

He grabbed a bottle of rum from the counter and opened it. The bottle read, “Pirate Polly’s Caribbean Rum. So good you’ll be asking, ‘Why is the rum gone.’” He eyeballed how much rum he mixed in with the bananas. Just then his eyes began to burn.

There must be some residual effects of the onion I put into the pasta sauce. He thought to himself.

Jerm then turned to grab a match and he couldn’t find one.

Where the devil are the matches! I thought sure we had some! He thought as he rubbed his eyes. Wow, that was one strong onion.

He turned and looked at the pan with the bananas cooking in it. This is just great! All I wanted was a nice dinner for Aphrodite! She’s been working really hard on her advice column. She’s been worried about what Ares has been up to. I know that she’s worried about me as well! Leave it to me to foul things up for her!

That’s when it happened. Two red beams of energy lanced out from his eyes and hit the pan with the bananas cooking in it, causing a massive fireball to erupt. Jerm tried to turn towards his right, causing the two crimson beams to hit the rum bottles on counter, causing an even bigger fireball to explode, blasting the roof of the house into orbit. As suddenly as it had started, the beams of intense energy had stopped.

“What was that?!” he muttered.

He could hear the wail of the sirens from the Christmas Town Fire Department. The phone on the wall began ringing.

“Hello?” Jerm asked into the receiver.

“Jerm, this is Christmas Town Construction. Did your roof just enter space?”

“Uh…yeah…I guess so.” Jerm replied.

“We’re on our way over to put a new roof on.” The elf on the other end of the phone told him. “Baxter and the Big Guy are on their way over as well.”

“Uh…thanks.” Jerm said, and then hung up the phone.

Oh boy. He thought to himself…

Kimmy stood in her fighting stance, eyeing her opponent on the other side of the sparing mat. She wore a red and green karate uniform. She was the best in her self defense class. Her opponent was none other than Xena. After classes, Xena would give extra lessons to Kimmy, because the warrior princess had told her she had potential. The extra sessions would always end with Kimmy and Xena in a duel. The goal was to knock the other off their feet. Xena always won these bouts, but Kimmy kept trying. The last time, she almost had Xena, but that infernal Baxter thought they were actually fighting and tackled her to the ground.

“Anytime you’re ready.” Xena told Kimmy.

The elf took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. She slowly approached the warrior princess. Then without warning, Kimmy began throwing punches and kicks. Xena blocked all of them with very little effort. Then Xena took the offensive with two roundhouse kicks, which Kimmy was able to dodge and counter with a strike to Xena’s abdomen. Xena smiled and backhanded Kimmy, causing the elf to spin in a circle, but she still stood. The two went at each other, both throwing punches and blocking them at the same time. Then Xena went for a foot sweep, taking out Kimmy’s legs, and knocking her to the ground.

“You did a lot better this time, Kimmy.” Xena told the elf as she offered her a hand.

“Thanks.” Kimmy said. “I’ve been practicing.”

Just then, there was the sound of an explosion.

“What was that?!” Kimmy exclaimed.

“Let’s find out.” Xena said.

The two walked over to the console in the wall and Xena pressed a button.

“This is Xena in the self defense training room. What’s going on?”

“No need to worry, Xena. The roof to Aphrodite and Jerm’s house just blew off again. We’re sending crews over for instant repairs before the snow storm hits.” The voice over the loud speaker informed the warrior princess and Kimmy.

“Thanks. Xena out.”

“How in the world did that happen?” Kimmy asked.

“My guess is that Jerm was cooking again.” Xena told the elf.

The two girls looked at each other for a second, and then began laughing.

“I’d better head back up to Aphrodite. She’ll want to check on Jerm as soon as possible.” Xena said.

Kimmy nodded, still laughing. Xena waved and rushed back to Aphrodite’s office…

“See, that’s where you and Xena live.” Aphrodite smiled as she pointed out a small house to Delorean. “And Jerm and I lived over here.”

Delorean nodded.

Just then there was a loud explosion, followed by the roof of one of the houses soaring into the darkening sky.

Oh no, not again! That’s the fourth roof this month. Aphrodite thought to herself. I hope he’s alright. As soon as Xena comes back, I’ll get home.

“Boom!” Delorean exclaimed, as she laughed and clapped her hands.

Aphrodite had to smile. She walked away from the window, her mind still concerned for her husband…

Santa Claus and Baxter walked through the front door of the home of Aphrodite and Jerm. Baxter, as usual, began looking around the house as Santa walked over to the young man.

“What happened this time?” Santa asked.

“Well…I was trying to make dinner, and the dessert sorta exploded.” Jerm told him.

“I see.” Santa said, watching as the ever efficient construction elves were already placing the new roof on the house. “Watching the Food Network again, weren’t you?”

“Yes sir.” Jerm answered.

“I understand why you’re trying to cook Jerm. I really do. But…I’m sorry; I have to cut you off from the food network until after New Years. Then I’ll have Baxter add it to your cable again.”

“But Santa!” Jerm protested. “This is when they have all the best shows on! I can’t miss Giggles’ ‘Christmas Dinner in Sixty’ special!”

“I’m sorry, Jerm.” Santa replied.

“I’m sorry, Santa.” Jerm apologized. “I’m not trying to be a trouble maker.”

“You’re not, son.” Santa told Jerm as he placed a hand on the young man’s shoulder.

“Who’s Giggles?” Baxter asked as he joined them.

“Rachel Ray.” Santa answered. “You’d have to watch the show sometime.”

“I see.” Baxter said in a confused voice. “Any way. You and Aphrodite really need to work on your house cleaning skills.”

“Why do you say that?” Santa asked his R&D elf.

“Didn’t you see the mess of petals on the floor to the front door? They lead all the way to the bedroom. And there’s even more on the bed!”

Jerm’s face flushed two shades of red. Santa glanced at him and began laughing.

“I’ve been thinking, Jerm. I may have a job for you. Come over to our house around six thirty tonight, okay. And I promise, after the holidays you can resume watching the Food Network.” Santa said.

“Yes sir. I’ll be there at six thirty.” Jerm agreed.

“Good. Come along Baxter. We have some last minute things to do.” Santa said.

“I’ll be there in a second, Santa.” Baxter told his boss.

The elf waited a few minutes and then spoke.

“Here’s the deal.” He began. “I’ll keep the Food Network on your television, but I need you to help me get someone to…like me.”

Jerm thought for a moment. “Who?”

“I cant’ say right now. I just know the moment I saw her, she captured my heart forever.” Baxter answered dreamily.

“Oh no.” murmured Jerm.

“For instance, why do you have flower petals all over the house?” Baxter inquired as he drew a pencil from his pocket protector and his note book.

It figures. He would ask the more…intimate questions first. Jerm thought to himself.

“Well, Baxter.” Jerm began slowly. “If you want a girl to fall for you, then you have to do romantic things for her.”

“And throwing flower petals on the rug is romantic how?” Baxter questioned.

“Well…” Jerm began, his mind racing for an answer. “Tell me, Baxter, have you done anything for this…lady you like?”

“Of course.” Baxter said. “I’ve given her bikinis to wear.”

“That’s not really romantic, Baxter.” Jerm said. “You have to get to know the girl. Find out what she likes; what her turn-ons are.”

“Throwing rose petals on the floor and on the bed is romantic?” Baxter asked.

“It…can be.” Jerm responded, feeling his face flush again.

Just then, Aphrodite appeared in a puff of pink smoke and sparkles.

“Hi honey, I’m home!” she said with a smile as she looked at the new roof.

“Aphrodite, what are your turn-ons?” Baxter asked, whirling around to face the Goddess of Love.

“Well…” she began. “I like flowers. Dinner is always nice…There’s a lot of things, Baxter.”

“So…do you like having rose petals leading from your front door to the bedroom?” Baxter asked inquisitively.

“What?” Aphrodite asked, turning to look into the living room.

I’ll kill that little brat! Jerm thought to himself as he yet again felt his face flush.

“Yeah, I like that too.” Aphrodite told Baxter as she gave Jerm a seductive smile. “Look, can we discuss this later? I need to talk to Jerm about some things.”

“Like what?” Baxter questioned, his eyes glued to his notepad as he jotted notes down.

“Like what’ll happen when I tell Xena who’s been sending her the singing telegrams all week.” Aphrodite replied.

“I know nothing of how those singers know where to find her! Have a great night!” Baxter said.

With that, the head of R&D raced out of the house, slamming the front door.

Aphrodite waited a minute, then looked at Jerm.

“Okay, what happened?” she asked as she walked over to him.

Jerm took a deep breath. “Well…I cooked us dinner. Then I was trying to make dessert when…”

“When what?” the Goddess asked.

Jerm had noticed that she was beginning to play with her wedding band, which did when she was nervous. He had wondered if she had taken it off. He had a short message engraved on the inside of the golden band, which as far as he knew she hadn’t seen.

“The recipe for the dessert says to light the dessert on fire. I…couldn’t find the matches. I felt as though I was ruining something special for you. The next thing I know, two red beams of energy hit the pan, causing the rum inside to blow up. Instinctively I looked to the right, causing the beams to hit the rum bottles on the counter. The resulting explosion sent the roof into orbit. Then the beams stopped.” Jerm explained.

Aphrodite thought for a minute. “Do you think you could do it again?”

“You want me to try to blow something up again?!” he stammered.

“I think you may be able to control…what ever it is. Let’s try it. Look at the candles on the table.”

Jerm turned around to see the two unlit candles sitting in the middle of the table.

“Now concentrate on them. Nothing big, just light them.” She said softly. “I know you can do it.”

Jerm glanced at his wife, and then stared at the candles. He looked over at her again, then back at the candles. He concentrated has hard as he could. For a few seconds, there was nothing. Then two beams of red energy lanced out from his eyes, igniting the wicks of the candles. Aphrodite’s eyes widen for a second.

“Hey! I did it!” Jerm said.

“I knew you could.” She smiled at him. “So you’re strong, and you have laser vision. I’m just sorry that this wasn’t as fun as when we found out about your strength.”

“You’re the one who pushed me into the hot springs.” Jerm remembered with a smiled.

“I made up for it.” Aphrodite smiled slyly. “Speaking of which. I want to find out where those rose petals lead.”

She took Jerm’s hand and led him from the kitchen to the bedroom...

A few hours later…

Santa and Jerm stood in front of a large door in the back of the Christmas Town Toy Factory. Jerm was about to say something, when Santa placed a finger to his lips. Though it was muffled, the two could hear singing.

“Whoever it is has a good voice.” Jerm whispered. “Who is it?”

As if in answer, the door to the workshop opened, and out stepped Baxter.

“Hi guys!” Baxter greeted.

“Hi, Baxter.” Jerm said in surprise.

“Did Aphrodite like the rose petals?”

“Uh…well…” Jerm stammered, feeling his face flush again.

“Baxter, is the work on the sleigh done for the night?” Santa asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Yes, sir.” Baxter said.

“Good.” Santa said. “I’ll see you later.”

“Okay, see you guys later.” The elf said.

When Baxter walked around the corner, Jerm said, “I…I don’t believe it.”

“Yeah.” Santa said. “It’s the whole nasally voice thing. Throws everyone off.”

Santa opened the door and the two entered the room. Santa hit the light switch. Sitting in the middle of the large room was a red sleigh with green trim and black runners.

“This is our pride and joy.” Santa said. “I wanted to show you the sleigh, in case you would ever need to know how it works. The maintenance is easy on it, because Baxter made it mostly computerized. Kimmy uses it to check the sub orbital toy distribution points. I know sitting around the house all day gets boring while you’re waiting for Aphrodite to get home. I figured this could occupy you for a few hours a day. I also thought it would cut down on the amount of roofs blown off your house. The CTC is really on my back about the amount of roofs being blown off your house. This’ll take some of the heat off both of us.”

“Wait a second. You mean the reindeer can go into space?’ Jerm questioned in amazement.

“No. In all actuality, the sleigh does all the flying. I could go out with just the sleigh, but the reindeer are all union. They’d strike and it would be a publicity nightmare. Besides, the kids love them.” Santa explained. “Now sit down.”

Jerm sat in the sleigh and slid over to make room for Santa. He looked at the front of the sleigh. A number pad and a blinking cursor were all that showed on the interior dash board.

“This is the password screen. When the correct code is entered, the sleigh’s full systems come online.” Santa said.

“Then it can’t be something like 1224.” Jerm said.

“Correct.” Santa said. “It’s 623.”

“623?” Jerm asked.

Santa gave the young man a smile. “Think about it.”

Jerm thought for a moment. “The only 623 I can think of is from the book of Romans.”

Santa winked at the young man. “It’s also the date when we start getting ready for Christmas here.”

Jerm typed the code in. When he hit the ‘enter’ key, the three numbers changed color from white to green. Then the key pad and the screen seemed to get sucked into the dashboard. The whole board then flipped around, revealing a larger dashboard with various screens. On the far right hand side was a smaller key pad. Jerm’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Impressive, isn’t it?” Santa said.

Jerm nodded.

“This has everything you could think of: GPS, satellite radio, two way communications, a cup warmer to keep your hot chocolate warm, you name it.” Santa said.

“What’s that for?” Jerm asked as he pointed to the smaller keypad.

“Ah…that’s a failsafe.” Santa told him. “In case the sleigh was ever missing. Go ahead and type in the code. This time it is 1224.”

Jerm typed the numbers into the keypad and pressed enter. The rest of the screens were once again sucked into the dashboard. In their place in the center of the large dash was a single red button.

“What does that do?” Jerm asked.

“Pressing this button will active the homing feature on the sleigh. On top of the toy factory is a beacon that runs constantly. If anything would happen to me while I’m out, pressing the button will set the sleigh on autopilot, which will then return it here.” Santa explained.

“That’s very useful.” Jerm commented.

“Yeah, Baxter did good that time.” Santa agreed. “Look, Jerm. I know its boring waiting for Aphrodite to get home. Baxter comes over to update the sleigh’s computer functions. You could do the more regular maintenance. It wouldn’t take up too much time, but it would be a great help.”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt.” Jerm said.

Just then, the wall console began beeping.

“Yes, this is Santa.”

“Sir, you may want to get over to the communications department. Some new info is coming in.” the voice replied.

“I’m on my way. Tell mama that I’ll be late for karaoke.”

“Will do sir.” The voice replied.

“Jerm, you go ahead with Aphrodite to the entertainment hall. I’ll be back shortly.”

“Yes sir.” Jerm answered.

Aphrodite sat in the entertainment hall, awaiting her husband, who left two hours earlier to meet with Santa. She periodically would glanced back at the crowd to see if he had arrived yet. Just then, Xena walked up to her.

“May I join you, Aphrodite?” the warrior princess asked.

“Of course you can.” Aphrodite told her.

Xena sat down on the left side of the Goddess of Love.

“Where’s Jerm?” she asked.

“I don’t know. He should be here shortly. How’s he doing in self defense training?” Aphrodite asked.

“Alright.” Xena answered. “I’m really happy you found someone, Aphrodite.”

“Thanks, Xena.” The Goddess smiled. “Thanks for being a friend to the both of us.”

“I should be thanking the both of you. You really helped me fit in to this strange, new world.”

“It’s no problem. We’ll have to have you and Delorean over for dinner again. I’ll make sure Jerm isn’t cooking something as…explosive.”

The two laughed…

Baxter entered into the entertainment hall, and looked around. Just then He saw Aphrodite and Xena talking. A wild idea sprang into his head. He quickly walked over to the two.

“Hi Aphrodite!” Baxter said.

Then the elf’s eyes fell upon Xena.

“Hi, Xena.” He said dreamily.

“Hello, Baxter.” Xena grumbled.

She had this feeling that it was he who had been sending the singing telegrams all week, but she couldn’t prove it.

“Where’s Jerm?” Baxter asked.

“I’m not sure.” Aphrodite said. “Did you need something?”

“No…nothing at all. Bye!” the elf said.

As Baxter rushed to the backstage area, Santa Claus walked on stage to a thunderous ovation.

“I have an announcement for all of you.” He began. “I just got word that a small town in the United States is having a Christmas parade and they are in need of a Santa. I have already made the arrangements to be there. I know this is out of the ordinary, especially with only one day until Christmas Eve. I’ll be taking two elves with me. Kimmy, you’ll be in charge of things until I return. I thought you should know. Now let’s sing some songs!”

Baxter found Jerm talking with two other elves. He knew them on sight as Evans from the Elf Liberation Force, or E.L.F. division, and Smitty, one of the Christmas Town Construction workers.

Smitty had short brown hair and brown eyes. He was built for an elf, because he was in the construction business. Evans was a tad taller than Smitty, with long blonde hair he usually wore in a pony tail, and bright green eyes. All three wore blue jeans, white t-shirts and sneakers.

“Jerm! I just had a crazy idea!” Baxter exclaimed as he rushed over to the three. “I want to sing a song to Xe--for that girl I was talking to you about!”

“Really, Baxter?” Jerm said. “We were just talking about something. Look, we need another for our Doo-Wop group. Rumor has it this will kick off the singing competition after Christmas. Smitty’s heard that the grand prize this year is a week vacation and a dinner for two at Christmas Town’s most romantic restaurant. Why don’t you join us?”

“Wait a sec!” Evans said, as he pulled Jerm and Smitty away from earshot.

“What’s the matter?” Jerm asked.

“Are you insane?! Having Baxter join us?! We want to win!” Evan said.

“Guys, trust me.” Jerm said. “I know what I’m talking about.

Smitty and Evans looked at their friend as if he had lobsters coming out of his ears. The three walked back over to where Baxter was waiting.

“Well, Baxter, what do you say?” Jerm asked.

“Okay!” Baxter said. “What to I have to do?”

“Well…” Smitty spoke up. “We’re going to sing two songs tonight. We could start with our original song, and then use one for Baxter. As luck would have it, we’re last.”

“Good idea, and I think I know the song.” Jerm said. “Evans, go get Baxter a change of clothes. Baxter, do you have contacts?”

“Yeah.” The elf answered. “But I can’t stand them. I think the glasses make me more attractive.”

The three rolled their eyes as they looked at one another. It took all their self control not to laugh. Evans and Smitty then took their leads to get some clothes for Baxter. Jerm sent Baxter to get his contacts. Then the four began to do some last minute rehearsing…

Aphrodite and Xena clapped as the singer left the stage. Aphrodite still couldn’t find Jerm, and was beginning to worry. She had half a mind to ask Xena to go looking for them. The last act was now getting ready to appear on stage. Most of the singing was either terrible or the same song over and over.

“Well…” Mrs. Claus began. “We’re at the final act for the evening. Here are the ‘Christmas Town Boppers!”

The crowd clapped. Aphrodite and Xena’s mouths dropped open.

“Is that Jerm?” Aphrodite asked.

“Is that Baxter?’ Xena questioned in disbelief.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!” Smitty’s deep voice filled the entertainment hall. “I hope you’ve had a good time. We’re going to do two songs for you this evening. The first is one of our favorites. We all have that special someone, and sometimes we need to tell them how we feel. Baxter, you’re on.”

Baxter walked past the other three, each giving him an encouraging pat on the back. He glanced back at Jerm.

“Remember, you only get one chance to make an impression.” Jerm told him.

Baxter nodded and looked out at the crowd. He found Xena and locked eyes with her. As the music hit, Baxter began singing the first lines of ‘Come Go with Me’…

As the song finished, the crowd was silent, for a split second. Then there was a thunderous ovation. Aphrodite’s mouth just hung open in sheer surprise. Xena had a cool look in her eye as she rubbed her fingers over her chakram. Baxter handed to mic to Jerm, who announced that their next song would be ‘Earth Angel’. The crowd quickly quieted down…

As the song finished, the crowd erupted again in applause. Santa whispered to Mrs. Claus, “I think we may have some competition this year.”

The crowd filed out of the hall. Aphrodite and Xena waited for Jerm. A few minutes later Jerm, Smitty, Evans and Baxter walked out into the cold winter evening. Aphrodite hugged Jerm when the four reached to two awaiting women.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.

“Are you surprised?” Jerm asked as he greeted Xena with a handshake.

“Well yeah.” Aphrodite said. “That was like, totally awesome!”

“It’s always good to have a few surprises. That’s what marriage is about.”

“You guys did well.” Xena said. “I think the Claus’ may have a challenge this year.”

Xena shook hands with Smitty and Evans. When she reached Baxter, she simply gave him a pat on the back. “Good job, Baxter.”

Baxter glanced over at Jerm and smiled. He saw Jerm nod his head in approval.

“I’ve got to get back. I’ll see you later.” Xena said.

“Yeah, I’ve got to get to work early tomorrow.” Evans agreed.

Smitty nodded, and the three walked away.

“That was really fun.” Baxter told Jerm.

“I’m glad you thought so. We practice every day around four o’clock. I expect you to be there. We’re meeting at Smitty’s place.” Jerm told him.

Baxter nodded and walked off.

“Well, let’s get moving.” Aphrodite said. “I want to get to the office early tomorrow. I have a lot of emails.”

The two walked towards their house hand in hand…

December 23^rd.

It was a cold morning in Lucyville, Virginia. The skies were overcast and snow was gently falling to the ground. A cold wind blew in from the west, causing the bare branches of the trees to sway.

Vince Manilow was just arriving at his security job at the warehouse. He was in his mid thirties, with short black hair and blue eyes. He was to meet someone in three minutes outside the warehouse. He heard that an important guest was coming and he was just to keep patrolling the outside until three o’clock. Just then he heard a voice call him.

A young woman approached him. She had long blonde hair and brown eyes. She wore a black heavy coat. He didn’t know what the meeting was about.

“I have a request of you, Mr. Manilow.” She said.

“I hope I can help.” Vince agreed. “What do you need?”

“I…and certain other parties would like you to take a nice extended break from twelve o’clock to three. We can make it work your wile.” The stranger said.

“Oh really.” Questioned Vince.

The young woman reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a brown envelope. She walked over and handed it to the security guard.

As Vince opened the envelope, he whistled. The woman smiled.

“There’s ten thousand there. Money is no object to my employer. Succeed in this task, and he may have other…jobs for you.” She told him.

“Do you come with the deal?” Vince asked with a smile.

She gave him a cold look. The inflection in her voice was an equally cold. “Only if you screw up.”

The smiled melted off his face. “I’ll just take an extended lunch.”

“See that you do.” She told him, now smiling.

Vince nodded, and then walked towards the warehouse door and entered. The woman reached into another pocket in her coat and pulled a small cell phone. She pressed a few buttons and held the phone to her ear.

“Report.” The voice said on the other end.

“You were right, Ares. He was easily bought.” The woman replied.

“Excellent work, Callisto.” Ares said. “Let me know when you have the sleigh in your procession.”

“Of course.” Callisto said.

She folded the phone and placed it into her pocket. She smiled. All was going according to plan…

Santa arrived at the warehouse one hour before the parade was to start. He was able to glide the sleigh in under radar thanks to a new cloaking device Baxter had installed earlier that morning.

Xena had wanted to come along, but Santa insisted that things would be fine. He compromised by bringing two members of the new E.L.F. squad that he and Xena created.

The director of the parade walked into the warehouse and met with Santa. He was in his mid forties, had short brown hair and green eyes.

“Thank you for coming at such short notice, sir.” The director said, shaking hands with Santa.

“Not a problem.” Santa replied.

The director glanced over at the sleigh, then the elves. The first elf was male, whose name was Dean. He wore a green and red suit. He had blue eyes and short brown hair. The second elf was female. Her name was Jan. She too wore a green and red suit. She had long black hair and green eyes.

“Don’t worry about them.” Santa said. “They’re here to watch the sleigh.”

“Oh.” The director said. “We have a security guard patrolling the outside. Come with me, and I’ll show you the float you’ll be sitting on.”

Santa nodded at the elves, and then walked out with the director.

Two hours later…

A black box van pulled up to the back door of the warehouse. Out from the driver side of the van stepped a very large…being.

He stood at least 6’2 and had glowing red eyes. His skin was a dark gray color and he sported a dark goatee. His outfit consisted of a trench coat, long sleeved shirt, pants and boots, all black. The only his belt buckle showed any hint of color. It was a large sliver skull. He pulled a pair of dark sunglasses from a pocket and put them on.

From the passenger side of the van stepped Callisto. She wore a brown leather jacket, black shirt, black leather pants and black boots. She walked to the back of the van and opened it up. Out stepped six men. The first thing one would notice about them was that they were all identical. All were bald, and wore black suits with white shirts and black ties decorated with a sword in blood red.

“The sleigh’s inside.” Callisto told them. “Let’s get it.”

As she turned to walk, Callisto suddenly stopped. She turned around and began scanning the area.

“Is something wrong, mistress?” the dark skinned…being asked.

“It’s nothing, Izod.” Callisto told him. “For just a few seconds, I thought we were being watched.”

The eight began walking towards the warehouse. The security guard was nowhere in sight…

On a rooftop a few yards away…

“Well?” asked the young woman, looking over the edge of the roof.

Miranda sighed. “Okay, I’ll admit that these…hunches you get are always eerily correct. It’s unnerving.”

“I didn’t mean that. I meant if you got a picture of her.” Tina replied.

“Yeah. She looked directly at us too. It was freaky. I can’t figure out how she didn’t see us.”

“The Force has a strong influence on the weak minded.” Tina told her mentor.

“Yeah, whatever. I’m still not buying that you’re a Jedi Knight.” Miranda said.

“You’ll believe soon enough.” Tina said sagely.

Miranda rolled her eyes. “I just finished sending the picture to H.Q. We’ll know in a few minutes who our mystery woman is.”

The back door to the warehouse opened. The two elves turned their attention to the approaching visitors. They nodded to one another and removed their suit jackets. They also took note that six of the eight all looked identical.

“Well…didn’t think the fat old fool would have guards.” Callisto hissed.

She looked towards her lackeys. “Take them out.”

The six nodded, and approached the elves. The elves looked at the oncoming threat and took defensive stances.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Callisto laughed.

The first two reached out for the elves. Both elves quickly dodged and began throwing punches, taking their much bigger opponents by surprise. As the first two dropped, the elves rushed the next two and kicked them in the mid section, doubling them over. The elves then jumped on their backs, and launched themselves at the final two.

Callisto watched the fight with great interest.

Something’s familiar about their fighting style. I wish I knew what it was! She thought.

Callisto had to admit that the elves were impressive. She fought a smile as the two half pints finished with her flunkies.

“Leave them to me, mistress.” Izod spoke.

“No…” Callisto told her lackey. “Allow me.”

She approached the elves, cracking her knuckles. She noticed the two shrimps switched their fighting stance from offensive to defensive. They seemed to be sizing her up. Whoever trained them did a good job.

Without warning, Callisto took a swing at Dean. He nimbly dodged her blow and slipped through her guard. He kicked her left leg, just behind the knee. For a second she staggered. That’s all it took for Jan to slip in and kick her right leg, at the same place. Callisto fell to her knees. Before she could get up, both elves delivered roundhouse kicks to her head. Both blows simultaneously slammed into her head, causing her to fall face first to the ground.

Izod took a step forward, but Callisto stopped him with a raised hand as she got up. She wiped her mouth, which had a trickle of blood flowing from her lower lip.

“I’m impressed. You drew first blood. I’ve underestimated you.” She hissed.

Then Callisto let out a demonic scream, which stunned the elves for a second. She then back handed Jan with her right hand, sending her spinning to the ground. Dean was sneaking in behind her. Callisto thrust her left elbow backwards, hitting him in the abdomen. As he double over, Callisto followed through by bringing her left arm into his face, knocking him out.

She then turned her attention to Jan, who had recovered and now was getting ready to attack. She led in with a right hook, which Callisto caught. Callisto smiled hideously as she twisted the elf’s arm until there was a sickening crack. To her credit, Jan didn’t scream. Callisto then brought her left knee into the elf’s face, knocking her out.

“Are you okay, mistress?” Izod asked.

“Yes.” Callisto. “They surprised me. But there was just something about their fighting style.”

“We should kill them.” Izod told her.

“I agree.” Callisto said. “But we’re now running behind schedule. Besides, it’ll send a message to the old man.”

Izod nodded.

“Get these idiots up and start moving the sleigh.” Callisto ordered.

Up on the rooftop…

“Are you okay?” Miranda asked her partner.

“I’m not sure. I sense much hatred and anger from the warehouse.” Tina told her.

“Okay…” Miranda rolled her eyes. “Do you want to go down and investigate?”

“No. You’re phone will be ringing soon.” Tina told her.

Again Miranda rolled her eyes. “Of course it wi-“

Just then, Miranda’s cell phone’s ring tone sounded.

How does she do that?! The elder Amazon thought furiously.

She looked at the screen.

“Our information is coming in.” she informed Tina.

A mini image of the woman they had photographed came up. Flashing red letters scrolled across the screen, indicating that it was of highest priority. At the bottom of the screen was small message. Miranda gasped. The phone fell out of her hand.

“Miranda!” Tina said, rushing over. “Are you okay? What is it?”

Miranda looked at Tina. “Tina, its Callisto.”

“What?” Tina asked. “You mean…”

“Yeah. That Callisto.” Miranda said. “Our orders are to report to the nearest AmTech. Queen Gabrielle will meet us there for a report. This is big.”

Tina seemed to be off in another world. Suddenly she rushed to the edge of the roof.

“What’s the matter?!” Miranda asked.

“They’re leaving.” Tina said. “Do you have one of the new tracers?”

“Yeah.” Miranda answered with a confused look on her face.

She reached into her belt pouch and pulled a small disk the size of a silver dollar. She pressed the small red button on it. She then handed the disk to Tina.

Tina took a few steps back and closed her eyes for a second. Then she began running towards the ledge of the building they were on.

“Are you insane?!” Miranda yelled.

Miranda watched as her partner jumped from the ledge of the building to the next one. The young woman did the same to the next building, until she was even with the black box van. They had just loaded something into it, but Miranda couldn’t tell what it was. She watched as Tina threw the small tracer onto the roof of the box truck as it began to pull away. A few minutes later the young red head returned.

“I…You’re crazy.” Miranda said. “Did you look to see what they were stealing?”

“It looked like a sleigh. The kind you take a ride in during this time of year.” Tina replied. “We’d better get moving. We don’t know how long it will take Gabrielle to arrive.”

Miranda nodded. “You’ll have to teach me that roof jumping thing.”

Santa returned to the warehouse a few hours later. The sight that greeted him sickened his heart. Dean had blood running from his nose and lower lip. Jan had a black eye and her right arm hung limply at her side.

“Great Scott!” Santa exclaimed. “What happened?”

“You should see the other guys.” Dean.

“We’re sorry, Santa.” Jan apologized. “She got the sleigh. When we woke up, it was gone. We really tried to fight them off.”

“I know you did.” Santa said gently. “What did they look like?”

The elves took turns describing the eight intruders. A dark look came over Santa’s face.

“Let’s get you two the hospital. Then we have damage control to start.” Santa informed them. “Now each of you take hold of my sleeves.”

The elves each took a sleeve. Then Santa laid a finger aside of this nose, and the three vanished…

Chapter 2: Strike Force Santa Assemble!

Artemis Isle…

Gabrielle and Jamie entered the Research & Development area of the island. The head was a young woman named Amberlyn. Gabrielle was fond of the young woman. She had found Amberlyn in a basket sitting outside of a hospital in London. She took the small infant and raised her on the isle. Gabrielle named her after the tuft of amber colored hair on her small head. The child grew up and went off to college. When she graduated, Amberlyn returned to the island to help. Her hair had kept its unique amber color. She also had deep green eyes. She wore gold rimmed glasses.

The R&D area was full of computers and other high tech equipment. The young woman Gabrielle raised was sitting in front of the large main computer.

“Good morning, Amberlyn.” Gabrielle greeted the young woman.

“Morning, mom.” the girl replied “You okay?”

Gabrielle smiled. “Yeah. Anything new?”

“Nothing yet. How are you Jamie?”

“Good.” Jamie replied.

Just then, an alarm sounded.

“What’s going on?” Gabrielle asked, her fighting instincts beginning to flare up.

“I’m not sure.” Amberlyn said, typing furiously.

Multiple images began flooding the large computer screen.

“A pair of Amazons in America are requesting information on an individual they just photographed.”

An image of a blonde haired woman flashed up on the main screen. Various search engines were busily gather all know Amazonian information on the woman. Gabrielle’s eyes narrowed.

“Callisto.” She said coldly.

“Are you serious?!” Jamie said. “I mean, I’ve heard you tell stories, but…”

“Yeah, that’s her.” The Queen of the Amazons confirmed.

“But mom, shouldn’t she be dead?” Amberlyn asked.

“There’s only one person with enough power to bring her back: Ares.” Gabrielle said.

“The God of War?” Jamie said. “Oh man. This is big. Really big.”

“That means he’s up to something.” Gabrielle said. “Amberlyn. Return a message to the pair that found her. Stress that they are NOT to confront her. I’m going to the U.S. Find out their location; tell them I request a meeting with them. I’ll meet them in the nearest AmTech building.”

“I’m coming too.” Jamie said.

“Your duty is the regent.” Gabrielle reminded Jamie.

“Not this time, your highness. If it is Callisto, you’ll need your best fighter with you. That’s me.” Jamie told her.

“Fine.” Gabrielle said. “I’ll meet you here in thirty minutes. I need to change into something more…fitting.”

Gabrielle couldn’t believe it. Callisto. Deep down, she still hadn’t forgiven the vile wench for killing Perticus. The Queen of the Amazons arrived in her quarters. She removed her Amazon outfit, and put on a white T-shirt, blue jeans, sneakers, and a brown jacket. She grabbed her sai off the wall and strapped them to her legs, underneath her jeans. She then returned to the R&D room.

Jamie was waiting for her at the door. She had her strawberry blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. She wore a black T-shirt, black jeans, sneakers and a black jacket. She too wore a black belt which had multiple pockets.

“Are you ready, your highness?” she asked.

“While we’re out in the field, I insist that you call me by my name. We’re equals.” Gabrielle said.

Jamie nodded.

The two entered the R&D room again. Amberlyn was already waiting for them.

“First off, mom.” The young woman said. “You’re not going to be able to just walk around with your normal sai. Remember, America has changed since a few years ago.”

Gabrielle nodded and removed her weapons. Amber took the weapons and handed a different pair of the ninja daggers.

“Fortunately, we’ve finally figured out that meteor that hit the island a few years ago.” Amberlyn told the other two. “The metal is very lightweight and untraceable to all metal detectors. It’s one of the main reasons we’ve used it in all weapons. It’s also practically indestructible. We’ve decided to christen it ‘Vulcanite’.”

The young woman then handed her adopted mother a small cylinder, the size and thickness of a flashlight. It had a single button on its side.

“Go ahead. Press the button.” Amberlyn encouraged Gabrielle.

Gabrielle took the object, and then press the button. The cylinder began to grown until its length was about five and a half feet long.

“We call it the collapsible quarterstaff. When in its smaller mode, it can clip to your belt.” Amberlyn explained as she handed Jamie one of the new quarterstaffs.

“Score!!” Jamie exclaimed excitedly as she pumped her arm. “Will I be able to smuggle my crossbow in?”

Amberlyn nodded. “You should have no problems, as long as you don’t go showing it off.”

The young techie then walked over the table and picked up an object wrapped in white cloth.

“I figured you’d want this, mom.” she said, handing it to Gabrielle.

Then the young techie reached into her lab coat and pulled out two small silver flip phones.

“These are the latest in our cell technology.” Amberlyn explained. “They have a built in camera, G.P.S. and voice command.”

The other two women each took one of the sleek new phones.

“Be careful out there, girls.” Amberlyn smiled.

“What ever happened to the blue crystals that were found in the meteor?” Gabrielle asked.

“They were useless to us. They didn’t give off any radiation, so I gave them to one of the Amazons who had asked for them. They didn’t give off any radiation.”

“Incidentally, what are the names of the two women who found Callisto?” Gabrielle asked.

“Uh…just a sec.” Amberlyn answered.

She sat down at the computer and began typing. “Their names are Miranda and Tina. They’re on their way to the nearest AmTech building.”

Gabrielle nodded. “Alright, Jamie. Let’s go.”

The Queen hugged her adopted daughter and then the two began the walk to the harbor. From there the two would travel to the hidden island where the Amazon’s jet was kept…

Santa arrived in the communications center of E.L.F after dropping the two injured elves at the Christmas Town Hospital. He asked for the pubic address microphone, which one of the elves handed to him.

“Please forgive the interruption. This is Santa Claus. I need all available personnel to meet in the cafeteria immediately. Thank you.”

A few minutes later, everyone was in the cafeteria. Aphrodite, Xena and Jerm were sitting at one of the tables. Xena had a plate of Mrs. Claus’ cookies. When Jerm reached over for one, she glared at him. He quickly pulled his hand back.

“Thank you for coming so quickly.” Santa began. “Wait a sec. Where’s Kimmy?”

Just then, the doors to the cafeteria were thrown open. In strode Kimmy. Her short black hair was sticking straight up at all different angles. She wore a pair of red and green footie pajamas. She carried in her left hand a large coffee mug with the words ‘I don’t do mornings!’ in bold white writing. Under her right arm was a stuffed pig.

“This had better be good!” Kimmy declared. “Today’s the ‘Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends’ marathon, and they’re about to show the ‘Hot in Topeka’ episode!”

Santa shook his head.

“I regret to inform you that we are now under a Code Grinch Alert. Someone has stolen the sleigh.” He told the room.

The cafeteria was silent for about two seconds. Then sheer pandemonium erupted. Elves began rushing around screaming things like, “Christmas is ruined!” and, “Now what will we do?!”

A cold look was in the eyes of Kimmy.

“I’ll be back.” She said coolly.

Then the elf walked out the door. It took a few minutes for Santa to regain order in the lunch room.

“I know it’s disheartening.” Santa began. “But things are not yet lost. We still have hope. We must continue our plans for tomorrow night. We have to remember that this is about the children.”

Santa then turned and looked towards Xena.

“Xena, I want you to take Jerm and begin searching for the sleigh. After the meeting, I’ll discuss things in detail.”

“Wait a second!” Aphrodite said. “If Jerm goes, I’m going too!”

“Not now, Aphrodite.” Santa warned.

“Chris.” Mrs. Claus said just as sternly. “Could I see you and Aphrodite in the kitchen?”

Santa saw the steely look in Mrs. Claus’ eyes.

“Jerm, Xena. Get what you think you may need from your homes and return here. I shouldn’t be long.”

“Now, what’s going on, Heidi?” Santa question his wife.

“Why are you sending Jerm into this? How dangerous is this mission?” Mrs. Claus asked.

“And why can’t I go?” Aphrodite demanded. “I know how Ares works. I would think I would be valuable to something like this!”

Santa took a deep breath. “Jerm knows how to operate the sleigh.”

“So? You could easily write down the passwords for Xena.” Mrs. Claus said.

“True. Aphrodite, why do you want to go?” Santa said, changing the subject.

“I just told you. I know Ares.” The Goddess of Love answered, not looking at Santa.

“Why else?” Santa asked.

“I…I want to be with my husband. Surely you think the same thing when you go out and are delivering the toys.” Aphrodite said.

“She’s right.” Mrs. Claus spoke up. “It’s hard watching you leave, and trying to stay up waiting for you. I miss going out after you return. They’re honeymooners, Chris. Let them be together.”

Aphrodite looked into Santa’s eyes. “Please.”

Santa looked at the two women. “Alright. But only because you know Ares. Now I have a meeting to conclude.”

Santa then walked back out to the meeting. Mrs. Claus waited for the doors to shut before she spoke.

“What is it really?” Mrs. Claus asked.

Aphrodite sighed. “I know how Ares works. I know that Callisto is somehow involved. The two of them are pure evil. I know Xena can take care of herself. But…”

“Ah.” Mrs. Claus smiled. “You’re protecting Jerm.”

The Goddess of Love nodded.

“Then both of you be careful.” Mrs. Claus said.

Aphrodite nodded, then for what ever reason possessed her, she hugged Mrs. Claus.

“Thank you.” The Goddess said, and then rushed out.

Santa returned to his meeting.

“Now we have contingency plans that can be put into effect. Someone needs to let the Reindeer Union know that those nine slackers are going to work. Are there any questions?”

Just then, the doors to the cafeteria flew open. In strode Kimmy again. This time she was dressed full combat fatigues. At her side was a large combat knife. She had bandoleer strapped across her chest. Her face was painted in camouflage, and she had a red headband tied around her head. Strapped to her back was a large gun that resembled a small cannon. In her hands she carried a machine gun.

“Put me in, coach! I’m ready to crack some skulls open!” she told Santa.

“Kimmy, where on earth did you get those?” Santa asked.

“Sorry, boss man. I can’t tell you.” Kimmy replied.

“I hate to tell you this, but I need you here. There’s a lot of work that needs done.” Santa told the elf.

“But I can help!” Kimmy said.

“Not this time, Kimmy.” Xena said, as she returned. “We’ll fight together someday. But Santa needs all the help he can get. Trust me.”

The warrior princess wore a black leather jacket, white T-shirt, blue jeans and sneakers. Her chakram was hooked to her belt.

Kimmy nodded. Shoulders slumped, the elf returned to her room to change.

“Okay people, we have a lot to do and a short time to do it. Let’s go!” Santa ordered.

The cafeteria cleared out. Only Xena, Aphrodite, Mrs. Claus and Santa were left in the room.

“Where’s Jerm?” Santa asked impatiently.

“He’s probably still at home, getting whatever he thought he would need.” Mrs. Claus said. “They live a little further away from the toy factory than Xena does, dear.”

“I’ll get him.” Aphrodite said.

The Goddess vanished in a puff of pink smoke and sparkles…

Jerm raced into the bedroom. He knew he didn’t have much to offer, but he was going get one thing. He wasn’t sure why Santa was arguing with Aphrodite. She knew Ares better than most. If she wasn’t coming, then he was going to take a reminder of her. Jerm pulled open the dresser and pulled out the Superman shirt she had made for him from the year before. He quickly put it on under his sweatshirt. He turned to leave when he saw Aphrodite come into the room.

“I was just on my way back. Are you okay?” he asked.

“I told them I’d get you, babe.” She smiled. “And the boss had a change of heart. I’m coming with you two.”

“Then we’d best not keep the others waiting.” he told her.

She nodded. Then she pulled him close to her and kissed him.

“What was that for?” he asked when they parted.

“Just to say I love you.” Aphrodite replied.

The two vanished in a puff of pink smoke…

When they reappeared, Santa began his debriefing.

“From what the two elves that had accompanied me said, Callisto was the one who stole the sleigh. She had group of thugs with. Six of them were identical. We were told a security guard would be making rounds, but Jan and Dean said he never showed. Unfortunately that’s all the intelligence I have. I’m not even sure why Ares would want the sleigh.”

“Then let’s get moving. Callisto has a big lead on us.” Xena said.

“Just a second, Xena.” Santa said. “The three of you need to get down to R&D. We’ve had some advanced technological breakthroughs recently.”

Xena froze in place. “R&D? Are you sure? I’m sure I already have those things from my last outing.”

“Xena…” Santa said.

“Come on, Santa. I’m sure I really don’t need to go there.” The warrior princess smiled sweetly.

“Xena, you have to go there.” Santa said.

“But Santa…” Xena began to say.

Jerm and Aphrodite tried not to laugh. It wasn’t like Xena to whine about anything.

“I’m adamant about this, Xena.” Santa said.

“Go ahead, Xena. I’ll have a plate of cookies for you when you guys get back.” Mrs. Claus said.

The others could see the wheels turning in the warrior princess’ head. Mrs. Claus’ cookies versus dealing with him.

“Fine.” Xena huffed. “But if he lays a finger on me, I’m breaking his hand.”

The three headed to the R&D division.

When they arrived, Baxter was waiting for them. He was a tad taller than the normal elves, so his pant legs stopped above his ankles. He had his favorite pocket protector in place, and a red and green tie. He went back to wearing his black, horn-rimmed glasses. He was holding a cup of coffee.

“Welcome everyone!” He announced in his nasally voice.

He then turned and looked at Xena. A dreamy look came over his face again. “Hi Xena.”

“Hello, Baxter.” Xena sighed. “Santa said you had some new gadgets for us.”

“Do I!” Baxter exclaimed. “Let me show you!”

In his excitement, the poor elf accidentally threw his coffee on Xena’s white T-shirt.

“I’m so sorry!” he said. “I’ll get a towel.”

The elf ran off. Jerm couldn’t help himself, and began laughing. Xena turned and glared at him. He instantly stopped. A few seconds later, Baxter returned with a cloth. He walked up to Xena, and was ready to dry her front. Before he could touch her, Xena grabbed the cloth, and quickly dried off. Aphrodite could tell she was trying not to strangle the elf.

“I’m really sorry about that.” Baxter said.

Xena sighed. “Its okay, Baxter.”

“So what’s the new gear?” Jerm asked.

“Huh?” Baxter asked, staring at the wet spot on Xena’s shirt.

“Baxter!” Aphrodite said. “Come on! That’s not cool.”

The elf snapped out of his daze. “Right! New stuff. Come with me.”

He led them in front of a black window.

“First off, we’ve finally perfected the stealth outfits. See this window? This registers body heat. Jerm, walk behind it.”

Jerm walked around the corner of the black window and then walked behind it. His thermo image lit up on the window. They three watched as he walked from one end of the glass to the others.

The elf then walked over to a drawer and pulled out a few black garments. He handed them to Xena.

“Here you go.” Baxter said. “Try putting these on.”

“Wait a second.” Xena said. “Are these even my size?”

“Of course they are!” Baxter told her. “I estimated your measurements. Your bust is…”

“Alright!” Xena shouted over him. “I don’t need it broadcasted! Is there a changing room?”

Baxter pointed to a small room off to his left.

The warrior princess entered the changing booth. A few minutes later she returned. The outfit was composed of a black tunic, black belt, black leather pants, and knee high black boots. A bandoleer was strapped across her right shoulder and attached to her belt.

“Baxter!” she exclaimed. “These are a bit too snug!”

“Really?” the elf questioned. “I’m sure I estimated correctly. Maybe you should tell me what your measurements are.”

“BAXTER!!” Aphrodite and Xena exclaimed at the same time.

Aphrodite snapped her fingers. Xena could feel the outfit begin to loosen.

“Thanks.” Xena said to the Goddess of Love.

“No problem, warrior babe.” Aphrodite smiled.

“Okay, Baxter.” Xena said, really trying to rein in her temper. “What do I need to do?”

“Simply walk around the black pane of glass, just as Jerm did a few minutes earlier.”

Xena nodded. Then she strode around the dark pane of glass and began walking. Jerm, Aphrodite and Baxter watched for a minute. Xena then walked back to the three.

“Well?” she asked.

“Nothing.” Jerm told her. “It seems like the outfit works.”
“Well of course they work!” Baxter said indignantly. “I created them.”

The elf then walked back over to the drawer and pulled a few more pairs of the stealth garments. He handed a set to Jerm and Aphrodite.

“You didn’t estimate our sizes, did you?” Jerm asked.

“No.” Baxter said, rolling his eyes.

“Here’s the cloak, in case you need it.” Baxter said to Xena, handing her the cloak.